The Last Time
by xh4z3L3y3sx
Summary: [Sequel to Butterfly Kisses] Rory is happy. Finally. But she finds Jess again, and is curious. She couldn't leave happiness behind again, right? Not for him, anyways. Maybe happiness is way too easy to leave behind. Literati.
1. Spying

Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls.

A/N: I promised a sequel, and here it is. Even though I know some of you guys have been against me doing this sequel. And I know it sounds nuts because I left it where I did, and the plotline was unclear. But, I have to trust my instinct on this one. Just trust me, okay?

I hope you like the first chapter, although it is very uneventful. But I still hope you guys like it. The next chapter will be coming up soon, and there will be a lot of things packed in there.

Please express your thoughts.

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Chapter 1

Spying

She'd always hated wearing a ring.

Because what was the use of a ring anyways? If you loved each other it wouldn't matter, right? But now she was different. The simple gold band on her finger was a pretty detail on her hands that no one could ignore, not even herself. In fact, she had been caught staring at it quite a bit.

Because she had finally done something right. Something good for her _and _David. The feeling of being married felt so great, and it surprised her a lot.

It had been so quick. They'd been on vacation, their alone time. It was rare to get a break from the ties of motherhood, and getting used to not being near your child was scary also. Although there was a time when she was without child, only two years ago. All so fast.

So they got married. Quick. Before the champagne had worn off, too. But the thing was that she didn't regret it. Her family was thrilled and they were more in love than ever. Rory and Robbie. It was all too easy to get used to.

They even had the same first letter for their names. Too perfect.

"Bumblebee," She whispered.

Rory knew it was wrong waking up an innocent child in such an early time, but she needed to get out of the house and get him to daycare.

He opened one eye and then closed it quickly when he saw that there was no emergency. "No."

'No' had quickly become David's favorite word in the world. 'No' was the answer to everything, and he refused to say anything else. He turned over, ignoring his mother, and she groaned.

Why was he so hard to wake up?

"Honey, up," Rory said as she patted her son's shoulder, scooting closer to him on her queen bed. "Up, up, up."

"No," David groaned, shaking her hand off.

She had no choice as she sat up.

"Robbie!" She yelled loudly.

David sat up quickly, wide eyed. "No!" He put his hand over her mouth and she simply smiled into it.

She knew she could get him with that every time. The thing was, that David wasn't exactly thrilled with her thriving marriage with Robbie. He was only two, but he had his mind set and there was nothing she could do.

Rory and David lived alone in this apartment long before Robbie came along, and they always slept together in her bed. Always. And he would scream bloody murder if anybody even tried to get him off. They shared a room, although there was a free room right next door. And this resulted in a problem when Robbie and Rory got married, since he had to move in.

So, temporarily – as she always liked to remind Robbie – he was sleeping on the couch in the living room.

David seemed to hear Robbie's footsteps down the hall before Rory did, because he jumped out of bed and into the large closet beside the bed. It was almost a routine.

Robbie peeked his head into the room, his messy hair and shirtless body greeting her. "Closet?"

She sighed, running a hand through her hair as she nodded. "Closet." Rory made a gesture as if for him to come next to her, and he did, laying right next to her. "How'd you sleep?"

"Your couch is comfortable," He reassured her. "Don't worry about it, he'll come around."

"It feels like it's been forever since you moved in, and we haven't slept together in this bed, at night," Rory stated, frowning. "Naps don't count."

Robbie grinned. "What about--"

"Those don't count either." She gave him a death glare.

His grin turned into a broad smile, his hazel eyes glowing as he sat up, taking her into his lap. "Did _you _sleep well?"

"David only woke up once."

"I didn't hear you come out."

Rory nodded. "We didn't. I was already ready for whatever was to come by putting his sippy cup on the night table." She pointed to the table next to the bed.

Robbie squinted, "I don't see it."

"That's because there was a little accident."

"Ah."

"David wanted to watch cartoons and I said we couldn't because you were sleeping out there, and he had a hissy fit and basically threw the cup on the floor."

He placed his hand on her cheek and sighed. "You could have woken me up."

Rory rolled her eyes. "He would've still thrown one of his fits, anyway. I don't know where he gets all of this anger. He's such a brat, I shouldn't even let him sleep with me."

Robbie avoided eye contact, "Then why do you?"

"He needs me."

"You _think _he needs you."

She climbed off his lap, shaking her head. "Are you saying my child doesn't need me? He has these dreams every night. I know it because of the look on his face. He makes me turn on the light until he falls asleep, Robbie."

He closed his eyes like he had heard this speech a thousand times. Except he had. "I know, I know."

There was a long silence before they heard David banging on the closet door.

The tension grew in the room and Rory simply walked over to the closet, but paused as she put her hand on the knob. Robbie looked at her pointedly. "Robbie."

He stood up, raising his hands in defeat. "Fine."

She closed her eyes, knowing he was mad. Rory knew it was easy to get him mad. She took hold of the knob and pulled until she was face-to-face with her child.

David scrunched up his nose.

Rory pursed her lips together, crossing her arms over her chest. "He's gone."

David stood up and held out his arms for her. "Uppy." She sighed as she took him into her arms, giving him a kiss on his temple. "Mommy."

"You are so mean to Robbie." Rory knew there was no point in arguing with a two-year-old. She already knew the answer.

"No."

After that 'no' she knew it was the start of the morning. The _long _process of getting David ready for day care. The only up side was that he loved daycare. It was something he could not say no to no matter how hard he tried.

So Rory was lucky to get out of the apartment quick enough to get to Luke's in time for breakfast. Only thirty minutes before they started serving lunch.

But she had made it just in time because it was emptied out, even Taylor, who was usually there late.

"Hey, Luke."

He smiled at her and dropped a cup on the counter. "You have thirty minutes to eat, so I expect you want something that can be cooked quickly…"

"Toast and coffee."

"Coming right up."

As he disappeared into the kitchen, she felt her pocket vibrate, startling her. She reached for her cell phone and when she saw 'Mom Calling' she only took the call quicker.

"Mom." Rory's first smile of the day.

"My baby."

"How you doing?" Rory asked as Ceaser poured her some coffee, and she took a frantic sip, wanting something hot in her mouth. "Are you at the inn?"

Rory could hear Lorelai struggling with something. "I'm just walking in the door. You?"

"Luke's."

"I just came from Luke's. Isn't life funny?"

"I'm mad at life," Rory muttered, stealing another sip in between words.

Lorelai sounded amused. "And what did life do to you now?"

"David is just getting worse."

"Poor Robbie," She said. "If I were him, I would run away, _far away_ from our family as quick as possible. But he's such a nice kid, you can't blame him for falling for you."

"Oh, no, Robbie is great. If only some of that would rub off on David." She propped up her elbow on the counter, chin on her hand. "It's getting tense at home."

"I'm sorry, Babe."

"Yeah." Her eyes lit up when she saw the toast coming in Luke's hand. "Okay, well, breakfast's here, I'll call you later."

"Someone sounds hungry."

"I'm not hungry, I'm _starving_." Rory took a desperate bite. "'Bye, Mom."

"Have good toast. And give life a break."

She closed her phone, smiling at her food.

Luke came out of the kitchen right when she started digging into her food. He chuckled, standing in front of her. She let out a nervous laugh, wiping her mouth with a napkin. She blushed crimson.

"Don't worry about it, I've seen your mother do worse," He assured her.

But Rory didn't return to her food, putting her hands on her lap. "Right."

"So, what are your plans today? Hanging out with David?"

"Um, no, I'm actually going out of town." Rory's heart gave a tug when she said this, because there was nothing she liked more than going on a road trip, spending time by herself. Even if it was just a day. "Looking for some peace and quiet."

Luke nodded, but looked unsure. "Did you tell your Mom?"

"You know how she gets, Luke. You can't tell her. She'll go into a very long debate with me on whether it's safe." Rory's voice strained when she said this.

"_Will _you be fine?"

"_Yes_," Rory said. "Of course. I just need some time for myself. I'm even meeting Lane in New York."

Luke seemed a bit relieved. "And how's she liking it there?"

"Better than Stars Hollow, she says."

"That's good." Awkward silence. "Alright then, I won't say anything to her if she asks. But you have to promise me you will tell her when you get back."

Although Rory wasn't so sure about this, she agreed. "No problem, I'll be back by tonight."

"_Luke!"_

Rory smiled at Luke as he rushed off to meet Ceaser's call, unwilling. And she took the bright green light to get out of there by scooping up her things and standing up. Even leaving some money on the counter, even though she knew Luke wouldn't accept it.

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She was halfway to New York in forty-five minutes. It was all too quick, her alone time ending, and she recognized this as she stopped at the gas station. It wasn't really all about gas, she just needed a breather. It had been long since she had driven this long, all stuck in a car, she was so used to driving around Stars Hollow. And a lot of time was spent walking.

Rory was actually surprised at herself. She found herself so thin so quick after David was born. She had gone through a period of time when Lorelai had to make her eat. And even though she would eat willingly and often now, she was the skinniest she'd been in her life.

As she looked in the mirror in the gas station bathroom, her face looked different also. Her blue eyes were just as blue as ever, and her hair was a lot longer now. But her cheek bones were more defined, and she didn't have any baby fat on her face anymore. She almost looked sickly, so pale and so thin.

And she was a completely different person.

She reached for lip gloss from her purse, searching for some color in her face. She applied it quickly, the red making her face look even more pale and lifeless.

Rory shrugged it off before she could get any more into it, and took her purse before walking out of the bathroom.

She quickly ran into another girl, coming her way. She had curly brown hair and cat-like green eyes. Her sweater was slightly torn at the hem, and her skirt was way too short, as she wore fishnet stockings.

"Excuse me," She said politely.

Rory nodded, feeling dumb as it seemed to take long to get to the other side of the grim hallway. The girl gave her a scowl before walking into the bathroom and all Rory could do was bow her head and walk out of the diner where the bathrooms were.

She made it out to the sharp cold quickly, and it wasn't soothing.

"—well, fix it."

Rory heard a familiar voice behind her. The feeling was shock all around her and she turned, desperate to see if it was true or if it was just that weird day playing tricks on her.

Jess.

A sudden impulse was to hide lamely, as she hadn't seen him in two years and didn't even know what that nagging feeling was. It was all too real.

Because it certainly was Jess arguing with a mechanic next to an unfamiliar car. She watched with interest.

When he turned to look at what the mechanic as pointing to, which was a motel across the street. He seemed to only get angrier. And as he stood there, four feet away, she could see him clearly at last.

His hair was the same. Black and unruly. His eyes seemed more distant than the eyes she saw in Stars Hollow, and right above his right eye there was a slight cut with a bruise hanging around it. She had to admit it, he looked _awful. _How had he gotten himself to such bad shape? Did he get into fights?

She couldn't keep herself from looking away.

"Jess," The unfamiliar words glided off her tongue. It was obvious that he wouldn't hear her, and that she was going crazy, spying on him like this. Caring like she did after all he had done to her.

She watched him walk, head bowed, into the diner. Only to watch him kiss the girl who had scowled at her.

"Miss."

Rory jumped, and turned. The mechanic who had been speaking to Jess before was looking at her suspiciously. "What are you doing?" He asked, his eyebrows arching.

She shifted her weight. "Um…," was all she answered.

"Do you need something?"

"No." And as he walked away, she blurted out: "Thanks!"

Her head turned once again in the direction of the diner, where Jess was sitting now. Next to the girl. They were deep in discussion.

She watched them discuss.

She watched them eat.

They didn't even glance her way. Not once. Because why would Jess care if she was spying on him?


	2. Two Hours

A/N: I am so happy about the response that this story got. I'm glad all of you like the plotline. Keep on reading, it will only get better!

Okay, so, I think this is the longest chapter I have written. Ever. And it's all for you guys. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

I'd really like to hear your thoughts on this one.

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Chapter 2

Two Hours

Rory was back on the road in an hour.

Which meant that she had been in the gas station for two hours. Two hours of watching Jess. Anyone who would've known what she was doing would've called her obsessive. Maybe she was. She wanted so badly to yell at him, but also talk to him and find out what really happened. Maybe it had been one big mistake.

But she knew it wasn't, that's why she didn't approach him. She left when he did, but both in different directions. He was leaving New York and she was entering it.

It was ironic.

Only six years ago, she was walking the streets of New York _with _him, calling it 'The Big Apple'.

And she knew it as a sign that she was getting old. She couldn't even remember the whole afternoon clearly. Just the fight she had with her mother over it that night. How awful she felt about missing the graduation. She had been so convinced that she loved Dean. Except somewhere inside she knew that it wasn't true.

She got to Lane's house quickly. Too quickly. She didn't have enough time to think of an excuse. _Two Hours._

Rory took in a deep breath before knocking on Lane's apartment door. She heard a loud thumping on the floor and then the door creaked open. She saw Lane. Mad.

"Do I know you?"

"I'm sorry."

"Look, Miss, you probably shouldn't go knocking on people's doors like this, I can call the police," Lane said angrily, leaning against the doorframe.

Rory groaned, "I'm really, really sorry."

"Did someone try to kill you?" She asked, tight-lipped.

"No," She mumbled, looking down at her shoes. It had all sunk in now. Rory had stayed for _two hours _at a gas station staring at Jess. She almost hadn't seen Lane because of him. "I just got held up."

"Was there a giant elephant blocking your car?"

"Come to think of it, yes, I think I saw an elephant," She rolled her eyes.

Lane pointed a finger at her. "Rory."

"I am sorry. I don't know what to tell you."

She sighed and moved, allowing Rory to enter her apartment. Rory smiled at her friend as she entered the small place. And when she did, it wasn't very surprising that it was a complete mess. Clothes everywhere. Sheets of music all over the living room coffee table, coffee stains all over them. Instruments laying in their walking path.

But nobody was home. She was alone in the apartment with Lane.

"Where are the guys?" Rory wondered out-loud.

Lane crossed her arms over her chest, "They went to Burger King. I asked them to get you chicken nuggets, I know you liked that."

"Thank you."

"Rory, what happened?" Lane kicked a random plastic cup and then sat herself on the couch angrily.

Jess.

Jess happened.

Jess, Jess, Jess.

Je--

"David."

"Huh?"

"David woke up late and had some kind of a fit. It took me a while to get out of the house. Then I had to convince Luke to let me have breakfast after the official breakfast hours," Rory blurted all of this out. Automatic lies. "It was impossible getting up here."

Lane sighed and looked at her friend with a sympathetic expression. "Rough morning." Rory nodded. "Alright, you are forgiven, but just this once."

"Aw, Lane," Rory smiled and hugged her friend.

"Hey Lane."

Rory turned her head to see a very tall blonde girl standing in the hallway. Basically half naked. She had an oversized night shirt on her slim body and her blond hair was long and it fell over her face perfectly, her eyes almond brown.

Lane didn't seem happy to see her, though.

She gritted her teeth as she turned around. "What, Carol?"

"Is Gill back yet?"

"Nope."

Carol looked unhappy. "That's _great_," She muttered in a sarcastic tone. "He leaves me here with the kids coming at seven, what am I supposed to do? I have work tonight."

Lane didn't seem interested. "Quite a puzzle."

"He'll be back soon, right?" She asked frantically.

"Yup."

"Good, then you guys can baby-sit."

Lane looked like she had just gotten a wake-up call, as she popped right up from her seat. "Carol, we can't."

The blonde put her hands on her hips. "And why not?"

"_Because _we have a gig tonight."

"_So do I_," Carol spoke firmly.

Rory sunk into the couch, just listening to the fighting, feeling helpless. She heard loud knocking on the door, and all she could do was get up and answer the door, with an unsure expression.

She was face-to-face with Zach, Brian, and Gill.

"Hey guys."

"Rory…" Brian smiled. In fact, he was the only one who actually looked happy to see her there.

Gill peered inside the apartment to see the two girls fighting. He rolled his eyes and pushed Rory aside to get in. "Lane!"

Zach looked at Rory accusingly. "Are you coming to the gig? Because we don't have seats," he growled. "We don't have damn _seats._" He soon was also in the apartment.

She was left with Brian.

"Don't worry, Rory, he's always bitter now. Way more rock and roll, he says. Nothing personal."

Rory shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "Oh."

Brian smiled at her and lifted the Burger King bag up to her face. "Nugget?"

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"You won't believe where I am."

"In New York?"

"Where in New York?"

She can hear Robbie's frustration. "I'm not a damn mind-reader, Rory."

She knew she had to apologize for that morning. All the awful things David did all the time. Why was the kid so angry? But it wasn't her fault. Could it be? She didn't have to apologize to Robbie for what she couldn't control. "I know," She bowed her head. "I'm sorry, I was just trying to be--"

"Where are you?"

Great, now he's impatient also. Rory drew in a sharp breath. "I'm at Lane's."

"Wasn't that the plan?"

"It was, but there's a new layer." She heard no interest. "Um, I'm taking care of Carol's kids…while her and Gill are at work."

"Gill? Carol? You lost me."

"Gill is Lane's roommate and he's in her band. Carol's his wife."

"And what are you doing taking care of their kids?"

"I was being nice." Why did she have to explain herself for him? And why was this _such a crappy day?_ "They needed someone to baby-sit. They had work."

"_You _have work. Rory, when do you suppose you're coming home?"

Rory sighed, "When I finish. Late."

"And David?"

She ran a hand through her hair, feeling exasperated. "You can go pick him up, can't you?"

Strong silence.

"Fine then, don't pick him up. I'll get someone else to do it."

Rory closed the call quickly, not giving him a chance to respond or make her madder than she was already.

One of the kids poked their head inside Lane's room. "I need Mommy." She was about seven.

She made herself forget her own problems, and focus on the task on hand. She made a commitment to take care of these kids, and she was going to do just that. "Your Mommy's not here."

"Oh…" She blushed, embarrassed.

"But I can help you," Rory offered, smiling.

The little girl shook her head viscously and backed out of the room.

Rory heard a _boom _in the next room and she stood up. She hoped that all of the kids hadn't killed each other since she had been gone. She smoothed out her blue long-sleeved sweater, as if she was going to meet judges at a beauty contest. First impressions were big on kids.

She knew it well, as David's first impression of Robbie was them kissing in front of the door while he was watching _Spongebob_. He had gone to check out the noise.

"Guys," She mumbled as she exited the room, searching the hallway.

She saw one of the kids sprawled out in front of a bathroom door. He was very small, about three, and had blonde hair, blue eyes. He was crying, his big eyes watering.

"Hello."

The little boy looked scared. "Mommy…"

Rory bit her lip, "What's your name?"

"Ian."

"Well, Ian, you want to come with me to check on your brothers and sisters?" Rory asked, soothingly. He clenched his fist and wiped his eyes, before wiping his hand on his jumper.

Ian sniffled and nodded.

She smiled and bent down, picking him up. "Let's go." Rory balanced him on her hip as she walked into the next room, where the girl who had come to the room and two other boys were jumping on a queen bed. The room was clean, and on the little furniture, there were pictures of the band members.

"Who's room is this?" She asked cautiously.

One of the boys, the one with darker blonde hair, scrunched up his nose before jumping off the bed and responding. "Uncle Brian's."

"Well, we should get out of here, then. I'm sure Brian doesn't like you guys in his room." She used her best persuasive skills. "You guys want to watch a movie?"

The girl and the boy who were still jumping on the bed jumped off and yelled loudly. "No!" The girl screamed, high pitched.

Rory almost jumped. "Jesus…"

Ian smiled, giggling. "Amy's weally loud. Daddy said so."

"Yeah, I can tell," She sighed.

Amy didn't seem to quit; she huffed, knowing they were talking about her. "I am going to tell my mommy," She declared, hands on hips. "And she's going to yell at you."

One of the boys – she wasn't sure which one, at this point – shot her a glare. "When's Adam coming home?"

Rory squinted, not knowing what he was saying. "Adam?"

This seemed to make them _all_ mad, as they ran out of the room. She was left with Ian, who was now out of her arms and on the bed, bouncing like a jumping bean.

"Wook at me!" He shouted, smiling broadly.

She faked a smile, "That's great."

_Ding….Dong….Ding…Dong…_

The most familiar sound came from the other side of the apartment. Yes, it was familiar. Her grandparent's doorbell. Why would some shabby apartment in New York's doorbell sound like they were in some chamber in a ritzy mansion.

Then another familiar sound came. Amy's loud pitched screaming.

"Adam!" Ian yelled, jumping off the bed, and onto the floor in a very unbalanced way. "Adam's here!"

Rory furrowed her eyebrows. _Who the hell was Adam?_

Her curiosity took over her for a second, as she picked up Ian and walked out to the living room. There the question was answered. A tall guy was standing in front of the door, kids clinging to his legs.

"Uh, hey…" He scratched the back of his neck.

The guy was a lot taller and he had blondish-brown hair, slightly disheveled.

But she didn't get a good look at him because the phone interrupted her slow-motion moment. Ian had reached over to pick it up.

"Yeah," She heard him giggle.

Rory reached over and took the phone from him, fearing it was someone important. "Hello?" The line was quiet for a second before she heard Carol's voice on the other line.

"I'm on my way home."

"Oh, okay." Rory bit her lip. "Why so early?"

"The club's closed, long story."

Then, the line went dead.

Ian didn't seem too happy; he crossed his arms over his tiny chest and furrowed his brows. "I wanted to talk," He sighed, and turned, running down the hall. Rory pursed her lips together, and also sighed, turning back to the guy.

"Hi." Rory faked a smile.

The guy gave a deep-throated chuckle. "Hey, once again." He extended his hand. "I'm Adam."

"I'm Ro--"

There was the high-pitched scream she knew so well.

"I hate you!"

She turned her head to see Amy kicking one of the boys in the shin, scrunching up her face and letting out a deep wail. "_I hate you_," She hiccupped, letting big tears fall from her blue eyes.

The boy who got kicked just shrugged and ran off.

Adam walked to Amy, and scooped her up in his arms quickly, kissing her forehead. "You are…?" He laughed once again.

"Rory," She blurted this out before there could be any more interruptions.

"Like I said, I'm Adam," He stated, smiling.

"Yeah, I know, I…" Rory stopped in the middle of her sentence, thinking it was ridiculous to keep on going like this. "I'm sorry, but I don't—I don't know _who _you are."

"I'm these kid's brother."

She widened her eyes in surprise. Rory had noticed that he was way younger than her, but she hadn't expected for him to be their brother. "Oh, right, I remembered Gil mentioning something about another kid."

"You're babysitting?" He let Amy out of his arms and sat down onto the couch.

"Yeah. Everyone had work, and I just happened to be here," Rory explained, looking around at the mess.

Adam nodded, "Lucky them."

"But Carol's coming home now."

"Oh, cool," He commented. "If you want, you can go, I got 'em."

The truth was, she didn't want to go. It was very dark outside, and she was sure it was late. The roads were slippery and there was a strange fog all around. She eyed the kids playing on the floor, and then she looked at Adam.

Adam seemed to sense her hesitation. "Also, if you want, you can bunk here for the night. I'm sure Lane will love it."

"Lane…?" How did he know that she and Lane were friends?

"I remember Lane mentioning a 'Rory' one day," He explained, with his lop-sided grin on his face.

"She probably did."

Rory considered her options. Staying there seemed to be a pretty damn good one. Fighting with Robbie about David, however, didn't.

She had made up her mind. "Fine, yes," Rory said impulsively. "Thank you."

"No problem. I got it from here, though," He pointed to the kids.

So there was really nothing more for her to do. And she was really sleepy. She decided that she was going to bed. There was nothing more appealing than that. Not really.

Rory smiled at him. "Goodnight."

"'Night." Adam turned back to the kids, trying to sell them the idea of sleep. She heard a loud 'no' as she walked down the hallway and into Lane's room.

David.

She remembered David. How could she forget him? She was sure that after her fight with Robbie, he couldn't just ignore David and not pick him up. She took her phone from Lane's nightstand, where she had left it.

The cell phone was beeping.

_One New Message_

She sighed and put the phone to her ear.

_You have one new message_, the voice on her answering machine recited.

"_Rory," _It was Robbie. "_I just picked David up, he came, after the teacher convinced him to." _Silence for a second. "_Are you coming home? I'm sorry about the fight, okay? I just want you to come home." _Another pause. "_'Bye."_

Is this what he called a fight? She had had fights with Jess that had been _way worse._

Jess.

How did her mind go back to him?

She decided to call Robbie back, and shake this feeling. Apologize too. For the 'fight'. She pressed the call button and waited as it beeped.

"Hello," Robbie whispered.

"Robbie, hey," Rory found herself whispering too. It was the things she did when she talked to him. It's like they were in the same room. "Why are you whispering?"

"Oh, David's asleep."

Rory widened her eyes in surprise. "He is?"

"Yes. He fell asleep watching some Barney re-run. He ate some cereal before he fell asleep, though. And I'll take him to Luke's in the morning, he already agreed to watch him." It seemed like he had it all planned out. "Assuming you are not on your way home."

She bit her lip, feeling guilty. Why must he do this to her? "I'm not."

"Yeah, kind of figured."

"It's not because of you, Robbie. I'm just really tired and it's dark out, I'd rather stay here for tonight. Is that okay with you?"

Rory could hear Robbie's hesitation. "Of course. Stay with Lane, have your girl time.

He was so amazing. "Thank you." She heard a small whine on the other line.

"_Mommy?"_

"Oh, shit. David's up," Robbie groaned.

Rory actually smiled. She wanted to say goodnight to David. Although it was bad for Robbie, who would have to get him to sleep again. "That's okay. Put him on."

There was a small silence on the end of the phone before she heard her son's angelic voice.

"Mommy?"

"Honey, it's Mommy." Rory loved saying that.

She heard him crying. "Home. _Here._"

"Babe, I can't come home tonight because your Aunt Lane invited me to sleep over, okay? But I'll be home first thing tomorrow, I promise."

Now he was sniffling, calming down. "No. Home."

She sighed, this was the hardest part. "I can't. But don't worry, David's home and he'll take really good care of you while I'm gone. And guess what? You'll get to spend the day with Uncle Luke tomorrow."

"Luke," He seemed uplifted.

"Yes, Uncle Luke."

"Grandma," He cried.

Rory thought of her mother. Oh, boy, Lorelai was never going to shut up about this one. "Maybe you'll see her too." He seemed even happier to hear that. Lorelai always gave him candy. "Now, goodnight, Honey. You sound sleepy."

"Goodnight," He muttered, and then Robbie's voice was back.

"Rory, how do I get him back to sleep?"

"Just give him some warm milk."

He sounded relieved it was that simple. "Good. Maybe we'll bond through all this."

Rory smiled, "I hope so."

They stayed in a comfortable silence.

"I'll see you tomorrow, then," Robbie spoke first.

"Definitely." Pause. "I love you, Rob."

"Me too."

"Goodnight."

The line went silent then, and she knew he had hung up to follow her instructions.

But it was far too late to think about anything else but sleep. Her head hit the pillow and she was gone. Way too far gone in dream land.

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_He looked down at her and took a hair out of her face to put it aside. She closed her eyes, giving into that warmness. When she did open her eyes she could see him leaning in farther and she felt her stomach do flips._

_One more second, she told herself._

_His lips neared…Jess's lips neared._

Panting.

She panted, sitting straight up in Lane's bed. Her surroundings seemed to be extremely warm. It felt like summer under those covers. She yanked them off, she was sweating everywhere.

Rory looked around her.

Lane wasn't sleeping next to her, which probably meant she went to sleep with Zach.

Her dream.

That dream wasn't just a dream, it was exactly what had happened the day she went to the hospital to have David. They didn't kiss though, one second away from a kiss. Just one second, and they could have had a totally different future. She could have finished the dream.

But, no. She couldn't.

Because no matter how that could've finished, Jess still played her. And he was still lying.

But as she just sat on the bed, her eyes drew closed. She was _too _tired. Her body drooped.

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_She was in a gas station._

_Similar to the one she had been where she had seen Jess. But he wasn't around in this one. There was a big glass wall in between her and the other side of the gas station._

_A flash turned her attention to her side of the gas station._

_Jess was there. But he wasn't alone._

_There was that girl, the pretty girl who he had kissed. And they were kissing, as if they were frozen._

_She looked at the glass wall again._

_All of the town's people sat on the other side, with popcorn, watching them as if they were a movie. Lorelai was with David, and they were both watching with interest._

_Then, all of a sudden, she couldn't breathe._

_She was suffocating._

_No, she wasn't._

_She saw Robbie in front of her, kissing her. That's why she couldn't breathe. But it's like they were frozen too. She couldn't breathe at all! She tried pushing him away, but it didn't work._

_Then her mind wondered to Jess._

_What if he couldn't breathe either?_

_She needed to save him. Poor Jess. He needed to be saved. That girl was suffocating him like Robbie was suffocating her. She tried with all her strength to pull away, but it didn't work._

_Then there was a big crash._

_Suddenly, David was on her side, but there was something wrong. He was a baby. He crawled over to Robbie and Rory and tried to break them apart. Nothing worked._

_Nothing worked._

_Why was nothing working?_

_She couldn't breathe, and she was fading away. How didn't Robbie know that he was hurting her?_

_Fading away._

She took a gasp of breath, coughing and shaking. Her hair was wet from sweat, and she was nearly shaking out of her own skin.

The dark was suddenly scary, and the warmness of the room only resulted into suffocating her even more.

She stood up, almost falling from the intensity of her heart beating so hard, and her legs so shaky all together. Her head spun as she held on to the walls for support.

How was that dream so real?

She took in a deep breath as soon as she was out in the hallway, getting away from that room as if it was haunted or something.

Rory ran to the door, feeling like she was being chased. But she was. From that haunting dream.

She leaned against the doorframe, unable to move.

Rory slid down the wooden frame and sat against it, her shaky breaths breaking into sobs. Her face was full of hot tears, making her sweat even more. She hiccupped and waited until she calmed down.

But, a shadow in front of her kept her incredibly alarmed.

She closed her eyes, letting out another sob. This had to be her imagination.

Until she saw Adam.

Then she knew it was real.

"Rory?"

She couldn't breathe again, "Get—get away from me."

"Where are you going?"

Rory cried, crying turned into hiccups quickly. Quicker than she could imagine. "I'm getting out of this place," She slurred, standing up, holding on to the knob.

"Rory!"

Adam stepped forward and grabbed her wrist, drawing her into him.

She fought him pointlessly. He was younger, but stronger. Rory finally stopped fighting, and started crying into his chest.

He held onto her as she cried.

"I—I'm…I'm so…I'm so sorry," She sniffed, still sobbing.

Once she had calmed down, she looked up at him in the darkness.

He smiled at her. And she thought if there was ever a time when he wasn't smiling. But his expression slowly grew dark. "Who's Jess?"


	3. Young and Foolish

A/N: I love your reviews, and that's why I worked hard to get this chapter out. I've had this chapter in my head for some time, so I'm glad I finally have it written out.

I really hope you enjoy.

And, _please, _take one moment to leave me a comment. I really appreciate the little things.

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Chapter 3

Young and Foolish

She was stunned.

She was so stunned she pulled away completely. She even stopped with the crying, wiping the tears away from her eyes. Her hands felt warm against her skin, but goosebumps were all over her arms, although she felt like she was on fire.

Rory smiled, for maybe just a second. "Jess?" She asked, like if he was a foreign subject or something.

She seemed confused, furrowing her brow. Rory sat on the couch, head in hands.

"This is all about him, isn't it?" She asked herself.

Adam seemed even more confused than her.

She shook her head, standing up. "I should have known that this was going to ruin me. I had to stop at that _exact _gas station, and it had to ruin me." Adam sat next to her, searching for answers in her confusing rant. "_It's all about him_."

"Who is he?" Adam asked once again.

"Jess?"

His expression was dark once again, fading into the room, the darkness of the room. "You were mumbling his name." He took his hand and pressed it against her forehead. "You're freezing. Are you cold?"

"No," She laughed at the irony of it all. "_No, no, no." _Rory put her head in her hands once again and all Adam could see was her shaking once again.

Adam shook his head and pulled her closer once again.

They sat in silence until Rory pulled away again and stood up. She pursed her lips together, and looked at Adam gratefully. "I really do need to get out of this place. I need to get out of New York," She rambled on. "This is what's making me crazy."

"You're still shaken up."

"I'm alright."

But she doesn't leave. She just stood there and Adam watched her stand there. He finally spoke up. "What'd he do to you?"

Rory widened her eyes. _What did Jess do to her?_ "Nothing."

"He must have done something," He's still calm.

She looked around for something to comment on. Anything to change the subject. She shouldn't even be there, much less discuss her life with a teenager. "It's late," She mused. His face looked very infantile as he nodded. He didn't know what to do. "How old are you, anyways?"

"Old enough."

"And that's supposed to answer something?"

He rolled his eyes, "I'm twenty."

Older than she thought. That was good, at least. "Oh."

This was absurd, she thought, still standing there. She made a sharp turn for the door. Her hand was on the knob when he spoke once again. "Are you going to find him?" He was searching for answers.

Rory was surprised by this. Finding Jess. It hadn't even crossed her mind. "I'm going home."

Adam was by her side in an instant. "Why don't you find him?"

She turned. "And why would I do that?"

"He obviously means something to you."

"Not anymore," Her hand was on the knob seconds after she said this. But she didn't turn it. "It'd be impossible to find him, you know. He's probably somewhere far; he doesn't want to see me. _Oh yes, _he made that clear."

Adam smirked, "Are you sure?"

She was exasperated with him. Why so many questions? This was making her head spin. "I can't just go, Adam. It's not so easy." She turned again.

Rory heard him sigh: "Okay."

Then, she turned the knob. There wasn't any more they could discuss, she needed to leave New York, and she would feel better than this.

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Rory reached Stars Hollow quickly. It felt even quicker than getting to New York. _Way too quick. _Her mind was clearer, and she stopped feeling horrible. So much time by herself made her get a hold of herself. She was too old for this. Too old to be crying over a stupid boy who had left her too many times.

_Too many times._

She knew David would be at Luke's, so she went straight there. And when she got there, she saw Lorelai's car, as well as Robbie's.

Were they planning some kind of attack on her?

It was too early in the morning to be thinking of being questioned any further.

She walked out into Luke's with a determined expression, which turned into a smile when she saw David run up to her, Luke's baseball cap on his head, loosely and backwards.

"Honey!" She scooped him up. "Aw, man, are you turning into Luke?"

David smiled and nodded. "Luke."

Rory felt someone touch her shoulder behind her. She took in a deep breath as she turned. It was Lorelai. "Mom…" Her tone was unsure, as she bit her lip.

Lorelai sighed, "Rory."

"I can explain."

"Why didn't you tell me?" At least she didn't sound as mad as Rory thought she would be.

She shrugged, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear with her free hand. David slid down her, and onto the floor. "I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking, okay? I just wanted some time for myself."

Lorelai gave her a sympathetic look. "I understand _that._ But once again, why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you would want to come with me or something," She explained. "I just wanted to be alone, Mom. And I knew you'd try to be nice and keep me company."

Lorelai nodded, but she still didn't look fully convinced. She reached over to her and took her into her arms. "Honey, you scared the crap out of me." She hugged her daughter tight.

Rory let herself relax against her mother; it was nice to have this. "I know."

She pulled away, "I love you, kid."

"Me too."

Then, there was the sound of footsteps. Rory turned her head to see Robbie and Luke coming out of the storage room, their arms full with boxes. Robbie's expression lit up when he saw her, and Rory smiled also.

She winced as he came over and kissed her, though. What was it about his kiss that made her shiver? The dream. She barely remembered it anymore.

But instead of following her shiver, she only pulled him closer and kissed him deeper.

Luke only cleared his throat.

Lorelai laughed, "Yeah, none of that."

Rory smiled, still holding on to Robbie's shirt as she looked at Luke. "Hi, Luke," She waved.

He gave her a knowing look, "Rory."

Rory felt someone tug at her shirt. It was David.

He groaned. "Mommy, _home._"

She seemed confused about this, she was _very _tired, but David was not the one that spent the whole night driving. He looked too sleepy. She turned to Robbie. "Did he get enough sleep?"

Robbie scratched the back of his neck. "Not that much. It took some time."

Now _she _had to pay the price for Robbie's mistake. The kid was going to sleep all day and not be able to go to sleep at night. Which meant another sleepless night. She sighed. "David, we're going home."

He groaned once again and extended his small arms.

She picked him up and into his arms.

"I just need to call Lane first, tell her I'm here." Rory walked over to the diner's phone. David put his head on her shoulder and she kissed his forehead before picking up the phone.

"Look, you can't call here," Luke was talking to someone. Probably from upstairs. She couldn't see him around her.

Lorelai nodded at her, "Luke's on the phone. He went upstairs for privacy."

"_Oh,_" Rory stated and went to put down the phone.

"I saw Rory."

She froze in all actions. Was this…? But it wasn't possible. It felt like he was everywhere. He couldn't be…?

"You _what_?" Luke didn't seem pleased.

Her stomach felt all knotted up as she waited for the other person to answer.

"I saw her. But don't worry, I don't think she saw me."

She _definitely _saw him.

There was silence for a second. Just a second.

"That's why you called, Jess? She's downstairs right now, you know. What if she came in here right now? Do you think that conversation would be pleasant? Nobody even knows that I talk to you."

_Jess. _His name being said only made it more real.

Jess didn't hang up. "She looked sick. Is she sick?"

"She's not sick…she's just…I don't know, Jess, okay? I don't talk to her about her personal stuff."

Rory stayed attent. Lorelai was now looking at her. She didn't even notice. She could now hear Jess's even breathing.

"What was she doing there? It was pretty close to New York. She was going into New York."

"She was going to see Lane," Luke responded, still not sounding happy to be having this conversation.

"Lane's living in New York?"

"_Yes. _Geez, Jess, why do you suddenly care?"

There was that creepy silence again.

Rory bit her lip so hard she thought it would start bleeding any second.

"And…and how's Da--"

She slammed the phone against the receiver. How could he ask this? _How could he care? _She wished she could take that phone and yell at him. Rory took her hand and rubbed her temples, not sure what to do next. She was afraid she'd start crying again.

Lorelai approached her. "Rory?"

"That _bastard_," She whispered to herself. She didn't even answer her mother when she asked what was happening. She went straight to Robbie. "Let's go."

"What's--" He started to ask.

"_Let's go_," Rory said in a firmer voice. With the look she had in her eyes, he listened. He took David out of her arms and into his'. He started walking out of the diner.

Just then, Luke ran down the stairs. "Rory--"

She couldn't even look at Luke. She turned her head and walked out of the diner.

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Rory watched David sleep.

One thing he did do angelically was sleep. He didn't stir, or make a sound. It was like he always dreamt happy things and she didn't have to worry about him like she did during the day.

Sleeping.

One thing he did like his father. His chest would heave up and down just like his father, and his breathing was even. He looked completely in peace. She wondered if it would reach Jess out f he saw this kid, his replica, acting like him, talking like him. And she knew it was all natural because he had never met his father.

Well, in a way he had.

When David was born, Jess was there. For a long time during the pregnancy, Jess was there.

But David didn't know that. For all he knew he only came from his mother and no one else.

Rory wasn't even truly sure that all of his being there was completely real.

It wasn't.

That's why she appreciated Robbie so much. He was always there and she was more than sure that he would never leave her farther than the market.

But, god, she loved David to death. Motherhood has changed her, and she knew it. Anything that happened to her wasn't all so personal as before. It wasn't all so heavy on her shoulders. David carried some of the weight, even if he was only barely two.

She touched his forehead with her hand and smiled. He warmed into her touch. He obviously felt her presence.

He opened his eyes only slightly, just to close them again.

Yes, he was far away in dreamland.

Rory stood up from her bed and exited the room, just to come face to face with Robbie.

She jumped. "You scared m!" She closed the door behind her. He only frowned. "What's wrong?"

He looked down, as if he were embarrassed. "Your mother called…"

He'd looked like somebody had died. Rory let out a breath of relief. "What'd she say?"

Robbie finally met her eyes. "Who's Jess?"

She felt her heart freeze. Rory didn't respond. She had never, ever imagined Robbie saying those words.

"Rory, who's Jess?" He was more cautious saying this, the second time he asked

"No one," She stuttered.

Robbie shook his head. "Lorelai called and she asked if she could speak to you because of the way you stormed out today at the diner."

"Oh," Now she was the one looking down.

"I asked her if she knew anything about it," He seemed to start at a lighter tone as if he knew something she didn't. "And she said that Luke had been talking to Jess and he thought you overheard. Now, do you think it's fair for me to look like an idiot because I don't even know who David's father is?"

Rory stared at him. David's dad? "Well, see, you knew the answer to your own question."

He shook his head in disbelief. "Why would Jess make you upset?"

She kept off the subject. "_You're _making me upset."

"Well, I'm sorry, we wouldn't want to _upset _Rory."

"He called Luke, I overheard, and I just didn't want to be involved in any of his crap anymore," She said calmly. "I was mad, not upset, he can't just call like that."

Part of this was true.

He didn't just accept the answer and move on. He sighed, rubbing his temples. "What happened?"

This made her think. She realized her head was pounding. She pressed her cool fingertips on her head. Yes, her head felt like it was on fire. As if one hundred elephants were jumping up and down on her brain. "He left," She said wearily.

"Why?" Robbie demanded.

Another elephant jumped. "I don't know, Robbie! Why do you think I'm so mad? I don't have any answers for you, I'm sorry!" She snapped. There went another elephant.

What she was saying wasn't entirely true. She knew Jess had left because he had been in trouble. Rory knew he had lied to her.

Robbie looked at her in a state of shock. She took a step back as Robbie took a step forward.

He sighed as she backed herself against the wall.

Robbie furrowed his brow and placed a hand on her arm. "Hey…"

"I meant to tell you, I just didn't want to bring that up again." Rory looked everywhere but his eyes.

He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, kissing her forehead. "I'm sorry if I was being unreasonable. I worry about you, Rory."

"Don't," She took a step a step forward and kissed him, although with lack of emotion. "I love you."

Robbie noted the lack of emotion. "You're tired."

Rory nodded, taking in a deep breath. "Kind of. It's been a long day."

"Take a shower and then meet me at my couch," He smirked. "I hope it's big enough for the two of us."

"It'll have to do," She found herself laughing.

"I guess so."

Rory watched him pull away and walk away. And when he was out of sight, the feeling of emptiness was back and the headache was worse than ever. She needed that cold shower.

She entered the hallway bathroom, immediately shedding her clothes off. She stepped into the shower and turned the little knob for the cold water. The cold water shocked her quickly, and she hastily turned on the warm water. All this change was making her dizzy. She held on the tiled bathroom wall. But, she couldn't hold on, her hands slipped carelessly. This made her unbalanced, and she slipped. Straight onto the shower's floor.

She saw black dots.

Then everything went dark, slowly.

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Her body ached. She felt like her back was bruised, and her feet felt like they were burning under the warm water. She withdrew them and moved her head.

It _throbbed. _Her head felt even worse than it had before she had gone into the bathroom. Sudden pains shot at her, and she put her hand to her forehead.

When she felt something sticky, she lowered her hands in front of her eyes. There was blood. It didn't feel too bad, so it couldn't be that deep of a cut. She gripped the sides of the tub and pulled herself up. The warm water hit her face.

Her cut stung.

Rory turned off the water and groaned. The headache didn't feel any better.

She stepped out of the shower and looked into the foggy mirror. She wiped the fog away with her bloody hand, which made it worse than it was before. Bloody fingerprints all over the mirror. It looked like someone had been murdered in there.

Nevertheless, she didn't look like the picture of beauty either.

The cut looked worse than it felt, but she doubted it needed stitches. Her face was wet, mixed in with some blood. She looked like one big mess.

She turned on the sink faucet and washed her hands with the cold water. It felt good. She turned off the water.

God, her head was still throbbing, and it hurt _so _much.

Rory opened the cabinet and reached for the aspirin. She remembered buying some Advil last time she went to the supermarket.

She found it in the back of the drawer. Rory opened it and dropped one pill onto her hand.

"One," Rory whispered to herself. She dropped another one onto her hand. "Two."

A couple of more dropped, more than she had intended. She placed them on her tongue and swallowed. Her head still hurt. When were these things going to work, anyways? Her head hurt too much.

Tears swelled in her eyes.

She had felt so much pain already. She needed to relieve herself from the headache, at least.

Rory dropped more into her mouth.

Nothing happened.

Just one more.

Rory wasn't sure how much she had taken at that point. She looked down at the slightly empty Advil bottle.

Reality sunk in.

There had already been too much. The feeling n her stomach made her want to throw up. And maybe she should, to get the pills out.

Rory's breathing became rigid. Her heart filled with anxiety. She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself. She grabbed the Advil before running out into the hallway and into the living room.

Robbie was in the kitchen, back turned. He had apparently sensed her presence. "I was thinking of making lasagna."

_Too many pills_. It repeated in her head.

Her hand shook as it held the Advil bottle. "Robbie…" It sounded more like a squeak.

He turned around. His face filled with horror when he saw her, and he was immediately by her side.

Rory was filled with fear. "I did something."

The pill bottle hit the ground.


	4. Rory, Interrupted

A/N: Here's another chapter. By the way, I know a lot of you are anxious for Jess to come into the story, really. But, I do have my plans. And I do _not _want this story to be some cheesy fanfiction where Jess and Rory get together by the second chapter.

So, I promise he will come into the story, but we still have to find him, don't we?

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Chapter 4

Rory, Interrupted

The coldness seemed to always hit her. There was a big draft. It reminded her of the time she had lied on a date about feeling a draft just to get out of an uncomfortable situation. Then, that seemed to be the most extreme harm she could do for herself. When she had slept with Jess, everything _had _changed. It wasn't a lie that when you slept with someone for the first time, you lost your innocence. Bad things seemed to follow it, and you can't get a break. Sex does complicate things. Although she had been telling herself it wasn't true for a very long time. Maybe she hadn't been right about sleeping with Jess. He was unstable, and she was just a kid.

She knew nothing about what it would bring. Not really.

Rory shivered. She sunk deeper into her hospital bed. There was no sleeping on nights like these. Her window seemed to be very inviting, with the strong wind rattling everything up outside.

Lorelai was beside her, reading a book the doctor had recommended for her to learn how to deal with Rory 'in her state'. She tried to disguise the book, but failed lamely. As Rory knew that Lorelai had no experience in dealing with her daughter when it came to things like this.

"Are you cold?" Rory asked her mother.

Lorelai took of her glasses and looked up at her child. "It's cold in here. You want me to turn up the heat?" She stood up, not even waiting for her answer.

Rory didn't look at her as she turned up the heat, she closed her eyes. "Mom…when's the doctor coming back?"

She made a sharp turn for the hospital bed. "Are you not feeling alright? You want me to call the nurse in?" Rory shook her head. "Are you sure? She's just around the corner."

"No, I'm fine."

And she was.

Robbie had admitted her into the hospital the night before, and she had been a mess then. The doctors helped her and she got better. She slept a lot and spent some time with David. It healed her a bit. Her stomach felt full as did her heart, and she never felt anything that might upset her. Everyone in the hospital was so nice, and didn't treat her in any special way.

She didn't want to leave the hospital, it was a safe haven.

There was a soft knock on the door, and the doctor came in with a broad smile on his face.

He walked over to Rory, and gave her a happy sigh. "You look better, Rory. Do you feel better?"

"Loads." The words felt like they were being put in her mouth when she talked to the doctor or the nurses. Everything felt quite fake. She kept a happy expression on her face.

"That's _great_." He nodded at Lorelai and looked at his chart. "We're thinking of moving you down the hall, Rory. I already spoke to your mother about it, and everyone in your family seems to agree."

Lorelai spoke up. "We all do." She placed her hand on Rory's arm.

Rory was confused. "Down the hall? But I thought I was doing good here. You said so yourself, I'm doing better."

"Yes, and that's why we need to continue the procedure to get you even better," The doctor explained. "Down the hall, there are people who can help you get your emotions out and you'll always have someone to talk to. It won't be very different, you'll only have more freedoms. There's a TV room and _everything_."

He sounded like a sales man. She closed her eyes. "I just want to stay here."

The man didn't push it. "Okay, okay. We'll leave you here for now. You can decide when you're ready."

Lorelai nodded, "Yeah, Honey, we don't want to rush you."

"Not at all."

Rory just pushed them out of her head. She felt sleepy all of a sudden, and she turned her back on them and let herself fade away from all thoughts of change.

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When she woke up, nobody was in her room. She was alone, and she felt better than when she had gone to sleep. Maybe it _was _time for her to move from this place. Like the doctor had said, she would have lots of more freedoms. More of a structured life than sitting in bed all day. She smiled to herself, glad that she made her decision. But she couldn't get up, she felt too weak.

She reached over to the call the nurse, on the button the nurse had showed her when she had gotten there.

"I wouldn't do that."

Rory turned, dropping her hand. Jess was standing in front of here. She suddenly felt very naked in front of him. She took the blanket and dragged it up her body. "What are you doing here?"

"Rory, what are _you_ doing here?" Jess seemed to care more than she remembered, as he walked over to the side of her bed. "Are you sick?" He smiled at her, pressing his hand on her forehead.

"Yes," She nodded. His touch was warm.

He chuckled. "I knew it, when I saw you. I came straight to Stars Hollow. I'm really sorry for all I did, I didn't mean any of it. I was too scared to come back, but I know I can help you through this."

Rory felt tears come down her cheeks. "You can, I know you can. Jess, I always wait for you to come back. I'm glad you are."

Jess took her hand. "Come with me."

"What?" She was shocked. "But I'm sick, Jess. You said it yourself."

"I can help you get better. You don't need all these doctors. Come with me and leave all this behind."

Rory found herself in the same position she had been in a long time ago. It was still clear in her mind. "I have to go down the hall, the doctor said so. I already made my decision."

"No, _you _haven't."

"What?"

Jess rolled his eyes. "You're on drugs, Rory. _Medication._ Do you think you can think clearly under this stuff they're putting in you? Anti-depressants, all that good stuff."

She wiped the tears away and looked around. She _was _in a hospital. "But I feel better."

"_You _don't feel better. But I can make you feel better, for real. Just come with me, and we'll be out on the road."

Rory sat up, "What about David?"

"I want to get to know my son," Jess sounded sincere. "We can take him with me."

To her at that moment, Robbie never existed. He was long gone. Rory nodded. "Yeah, it sounds good." Tears formed in her eyes. "I just want to keep on feeling good."

Jess smirked at her, the way he used to and kissed her lips.

"Mommy?"

Rory took her eyes off of Jess and onto the door. David was hiding behind the door, when he saw that he had the right room, he ran to her hospital bed and jumped onto the bed. She smiled, and hugged him tightly. She looked at where Jess was supposed to be. Right next to her. She furrowed a brow.

"_No_," She whispered. He had disappeared into thin air. David looked straight at where Jess was. He shrugged. "You scared him away," Rory told the child, and pushed him away.

David looked at her mother, eyes watering.

Rory put her hands to her hair and pursed her lips together, and closed her eyes. "Get out." A deep meanness had come out of her right then, and she heard David's silent cries as he walked out of the room. She broke into sobs. Jess was gone again.

Soon, she saw the doctor in front of her.

"Rory? Are you with me?"

Rory remembered what Jess had said about the doctor. The meds were making her feel happy. "Get me off these drugs," She snapped, turning away.

The doctor stayed quiet for a little while. "Are you having any hallucinations, Rory?"

Jess was real. She shook her head. "Jess came to see me."

She heard him let out a sigh, "Rory, I heard about Jess…and he has not stepped foot in this hospital." He continued, as her eyes watered again, "The medication you are on might produce some hallucinations for you, Rory."

"He was _not _a hallucination," Rory barked. "And I know you don't want me to know the truth, but I know. Jess told me. I don't want to feel happy, I want to feel real."

"Alright, _alright_." He put up his hands in surrender. "I know how you feel now. So, can we make a deal?"

She turned towards him. "What kind of deal?"

"I take you off the medication if you tell me when Jess comes back."

Rory closed her eyes, "He's not coming back."

Then the doctor was gone, and she felt Lorelai by her side again. She waited and waited until her mother fell asleep. Soon, Lorelai _was _asleep and Rory took in a deep breath before taking the tubes that connected her to an IV, and pulling on it out of her arm. Her arm felt a bit prickly and empty without it, but she didn't care. She stood up from her hospital bed, and walked out of the door.

There was no one out in the halls.

Even the nurse behind the secretary desk that's always there was sleeping. She noticed on the big clock on the wall that it was late. More than one o'clock in the morning. She smiled. _Perfect. _No one will be in the halls at that time.

She knew what she was looking for.

And she found the bending machine quickly, as she had passed by it quite a few times when she came out to stretch her legs. She put in the money, and the cigarettes she was looking for came down into the little container at the bottom of the machine.

Rory wasn't dumb. She knew she couldn't smoke in the hospital. The door to exit the hospital was right next to the machine, and she went out into the cold quickly.

The wind felt good on her hair and face. It was very dark out, and there was a chilly breeze going through the air.

She opened the packet and stared at the cigarettes.

When she was a kid, she had been told all about smoking and how it was _horrible. _She had even sworn to herself that she would never smoke, _ever. _She hadn't even known anybody who did smoke until Jess. He always smelled like that faint cigarette, and tasted like it when she kissed him. She had only seen him smoke once. Once on a street corner. The way he held the drag between his fingers, it looked like an art, as he drew in a breath and then let it out. He looked so at peace. He had caught her watching him. She hadn't gone home that night until very late.

One of the only times.

She wanted to taste his taste again. Rory took a drag out of the packet and simply looked at it. She had no way to light it.

"My wife just died."

Rory nearly jumped out of her skin as she heard these words. She turned around and saw an old man, sitting on a bench near her. She bit her lip, "I was just--"

The old man nodded. "We all need a break." He took out a lighter from his pocket. "Here, take it. I need to quit, anyways. Mary always told me I needed to." She assumed Mary was his wife. His aged face pleaded for her to take the lighter, and she did. His green eyes seemed grateful.

He walked away, and as he did, all she could do was hold the lighter in a clenched fist.

It felt like Jess had died to. She wanted to taste him again. Rory lit the cigarette and then put it to her lips. When she drew in a breath, the smoke filled her lungs. She coughed and coughed, clutching her chest. It felt terrible. Like she couldn't breathe. She threw the cigarette on the ground and stomped on it like she'd seen on the movies.

The cold was getting to her now, and she wrapped her arms around herself to keep her body heat inside her. She felt a couple of coins in her pocket.

Rory took them out and stared at them. It felt like these were the last she had to spend in her whole life. She felt like she wanted to cry, but she didn't. Instead, just in time, she saw a payphone. It was illuminated by the street light. That was another problem. It was across the street.

She ran.

It seemed so long ago since she'd actually run to something, or _from _something. Rory reached the phone booth, dropped the coins in, and dialed Lane's phone number.

"Hello," Carol picked up.

"Carol…its Rory." She needed to straighten herself up, her voice sounded way to shaky and suspicious. "I was wondering if…" she wanted to say Lane so badly. "I was wondering if, uhm, Adam was home."

Silence for a second. She wondered if she had messed up on asking for Adam. "_Jesus._" She didn't sound pleased. "_Adam!"_

Rory let out a breath of relief.

"_Yeah? What is it?_" She heard Adam's gruff voice, far away.

Carol seemed not so much not pleased anymore, more like pissed off. "Get your ass to the phone! Roy's calling you?"

_Rory. _She repeated in her head. Couldn't she get the name right?

Adam was at the phone. "Um?" He spoke unsurely.

"It's Rory, not Roy," She blurted out.

He chuckled, "Rory?"

"Hey."

At least he seemed happy, that was good. "My mom gets pretty mixed up after she's had more than two beers. What's up?"

She wasn't sure why she had asked for Adam, and not Lane. God, she was so confused. Her hand went to her head, the headache was back. The meds really made a difference. "I just wanted to call to…thank you."

"For what?"

"You were there while I broke down, when I really needed someone," She really felt this, but it didn't feel like this was why she called. At all. "So, _thank you. _I really appreciated it."

Adam didn't focus on the 'thank you' part. "You sound far away, where are you?"

"Um…" Rory looked around, considering her options. She was in no state to lie. "In the hospital."

"Oh…what happened?" His voice was laced with concern.

She bit her lip. "I don't have much time, Adam. This stupid phone's going to cut me off." Rory didn't know what to say. Her time was almost up. She was on the brink of tears. "_Adam…_" Her voice cracked, and she sounded desperate.

"Are you okay?"

"No." The answer was immediate. "I need someone to come here," She sniffled. Rory didn't even know what she was saying. "…to get me."

Adam didn't even hesitate. "What hospital are you at?"

"St. Lucy's Hospital…in Hartford." She looked at the big sign on the hospital. "Adam, are you coming?"

"I don't know how quickly I can get there, but I'll try, okay?"

Rory wiped the tears away. "I--"

The phone went dead. They had cut her off. _Great_, she thought. Would he even get there? Suddenly, the hospital burst into light in front of her. Lorelai walked out, worried expression on her face. Many nurses after her, and she saw Robbie and David with her. She was in plain sight. Although it would be hard to spot her in the darkness. She felt so small.

Rory crouched down so no one could see her, and crawled out of the phone booth and behind a bush. She was still on the side of the road, and the car rushed by now. Maybe they wouldn't find her there. She laid her head on the grass, and from there, she could see all the stars in the sky. It was beautiful. The soothing breeze made her sleepy, but she kept awake as long as she could, waiting for someone to find her in her secret hide-out. Slowly and steadily, she drowsed off and it was the most comfortable sleep she had had in a _long _time. The air-conditioner could never hit her there.

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Rory woke up to something moving below her. She felt like she was falling. She jerked awake and took in her surroundings, clutching her chest. It had been quite a scare. But it was still not over. Because she was not in her safe hide-out. Instead, she was in the back seat of an old car. She felt her back ache, in protest of where she had slept that night. She sat up, and looked out the window. The car wasn't moving. The car was parked in a gas station.

_Where was she?_

She gasped. Someone hadn't kidnapped her when she was sleeping? She _was _on the side of the road, a magnet for local perverts or people who sell girls like her on the Internet. She needed to get out of there. Rory climbed into the front seat, and opened the door.

When she reached outside, she was quite self-conscious. She was still in her hospital gown and only a sweater. Thank god it was one of the gowns that actually closed in the back.

Rory also noticed she was in socks. Pink ones. She hadn't thought about getting kidnapped that morning when she had put them on.

"What are you doing?"

She jumped, turning around instantly. Adam was standing in front of her.

_Of course, _she had almost forgotten about Adam. He was going to pick her up. She blushed. "I woke up in a car."

Adam raised an eyebrow, "I _know. _It's my car." He walked to the side of the car, and patted it as if that would prove anything. "I hope you didn't get scared…I thought you were awake when I carried you out. You seemed awake."

"You found me behind the bush?" Rory blushed again.

"I saw your pink socks sticking out behind the bush, and I thought you were dead or something when I saw you lying there. But you were breathing, so, I just took you," Adam explained, climbing in the car.

Rory then remembered the night before. She had called Adam to pick her up. She had felt horrible. "I didn't mean to make you drive all the way out there."

He shrugged. "Don't worry about it, I was waiting for your call, anyways."

She leaned on the car's door. "What?"

"Well, I was waiting for you to tell me that you had changed your mind." Adam saw her blank expression. "About Jess…"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Rory said sincerely, feeling more and more unsure about this whole thing.

He sighed, "About finding Jess. I knew you doubted the whole thing, but I knew you needed to find him."

She shook her head. "Adam, I don't want to find Jess."

"Says the girl in the hospital gown and pink socks who slept behind a bush," He was mocking her! "You wigged out at the apartment that day because of Jess…and now you're in the hospital…"

Rory wouldn't let him tell her what she wanted to do. She wanted nothing to do with Jess. "I fell down…in my shower. I needed stitches, so I was in the hospital. I needed a ride."

"Don't you have parents?" Adam asked seriously.

She put up her hands in exasperation. "I don't want to talk about this, okay? I just wanted a ride, and thank you for giving me one. Now, can you just drop me off somewhere and we can forget anything that has happened today already?"

Adam looked forward. "Fine. Where?"

Rory looked at him with a blank look. "Where _what_?"

"Where do I drop you off?"

She bit her lip once again. That was the hard part. Rory couldn't go back to Stars Hollow. Everyone would make her go back to the hospital, especially after she had made such a big deal about running away. She was an adult, for god's sake! She wouldn't let Robbie and Lorelai team up to put her away some place.

Adam shook his head, looking pleased. "_Exactly. _I didn't think so." He patted the seat next to him. "Get in. I'm afraid you'll faint or something. You barely slept."

Rory gave him a death glare, "What are you, my mother?"

"_Get in,_" He ordered, losing his patience.

She looked around the gas station. People were staring now. Guys in their forties who had grease stains on their shirts and were wearing jeans that were a bit too tight. Rory looked over at Adam. He had no stains on his black T-Shirt. _And _his jeans seemed to fit well. He smirked when he caught her staring. She rolled her eyes as she climbed in. "Oh, _shut up._"

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When Rory woke up from sleeping later that day, she found herself in a completely different situation than she did the first time she woke up. She was in a lowly lighted motel room, laying on a bed, alone. Had Adam carried her again? She was starting to feel weird about him being with her. _And _it was only the first night.

She wrapped her arms around herself self-consciously.

Just then, Adam walked out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. He smiled at her. "Hey…" He sat next to her. She squirmed, uncomfortable. "I was wondering, do we have a heading? I mean, you must have _some _clue as to where this guy is, right?"

She wondered, what was his interest in all this, anyways? "I don't know." Rory felt dumb, her hands to her sides.

"We need something," Adam mused.

Rory knew Luke had some idea of where Jess was. The idea of her calling Luke and asking him, though, made her sick. Especially after she had escaped like that. All he would do is question her, anyways. She didn't share this piece of information with Adam. Rory stood up. "Is there soap?" She felt even more stupid.

He smirked, "Yeah."

"Good." Her cheeks were flushed from all the moving, and a slight headache was starting to hit. "Um, I'm going to go take a shower." She made a sharp turn for the bathroom, and then just closed the door and leaned against it.

The last time she had taken a shower by herself, without her mother monitoring her every move while she did take a bath was when she had taken all those pills. They hadn't left her alone, after that. After all, that _was _why she was in the hospital. It was why the doctor had wanted to move her _down the hall. _The mental institution? She thought, before all of this had happened, that if she ever went crazy it would be so dramatic and so mysterious. She didn't feel crazy. Rory didn't see herself as crazy, at all. She didn't feel like she thought she would. Or like in movies.

Rory just felt…different. She didn't recognize the feeling. She felt like there was a knot in her stomach, and she always felt tears swelling up in her throat.

And it had all been produced by the teeniest thing. _Jess in the gas station._

Then it all started.

She wondered if Jess knew she had taken those pills. If he knew that she had been affected like she had. Then he would feel so horrible about it, and come to Stars Hollow like the prince in her fairy tale.

He still talked to Luke, didn't he?

Rory couldn't bring herself to think more about Jess than she had already. She didn't even want to be on this…trip. Not with Adam, not with anyone. He wasn't helping like he had that night, he was only making it worse, questioning her about Jess. Being oblivious to all of her feelings. She just wanted to go _home. _Without Robbie, without David. Just alone.

And what did Adam want to do? He wanted to find Jess for her. Something completely unnecessary. Something that could potentially hurt her. What did she expect Jess to do, apologize? Then, what? She'd go back into his arms and have more of his children?

_God. _The thought made her sick.

She stood in front of the mirror of the bathroom, just staring at herself.

Rory _was _alone in the bathroom. She was. But every time she looked into the corner of the mirror, she thought she saw someone else. She turned around.

_Jess._

"Rory."

He was speaking to her!

_No. No. _It was Adam's voice… "Rory, open up!" She looked around. No, she wasn't standing up in front of the mirror like she had felt. She was laying on the ground, and a terrible ache went through her neck.

"Are you okay?" Adam sounded really worried. "_Rory…_I'm going to open this door if you don't answer me."

She sat up, annoyed. "I'm here."

Pause. "Open up."

Rory dragged herself away from the door and twisted the knob. She was still sitting on the floor. She closed her thighs as he walked into the bathroom. He looked angry. "What the hell? I've been calling you for a while now."

Rory frowned. "Okay."

"_Fuck,_" He swore, dragging a hand through his hair.

"What?" She asked, irritated, as she stood up. "I guess I fell asleep, or something." Adam was using strong language, and she didn't like that. Especially when she was so confused, and disoriented. What did _he _have to be mad about?

Adam looked at her pointedly. "Why were you in the hospital? And answer me this time. I know you didn't just _fall._"

Rory held onto his arm, dizzy. Couldn't he just shut up? "I can't talk about this right now. I need to sleep…or something."

"You keep falling asleep, you barely answer to me when I ask you something…you look sick. Pale," Adam seemed to be very cautious when he said this, as if dealing with someone who was _really _mentally ill.

"Adam, get out of my way."

He bit his lip, he actually looked _scared. _Of her? Impossible. "Maybe this was a bad idea…maybe there was a reason why you should have stayed there."

Rory felt like she was about to throw up. She put a hand over her mouth. "_God."_

"_Are _you sick?" He urged her to say something.

Rory blinked away the angry tears, the nausea had already gone away. At least that was one thing that she could cross off that was making her sick.

She pushed him out of the bathroom and slammed the door.


	5. Janie's Got a Gun

A/N: Hey, guys! It took me a bit longer to finish this chapter. At least it felt longer. As always, this story always grabs me and makes me want to write more. So, yes, I have another chapter. And you guys have been so great on the reviews, so thank you with that.

I hope you enjoy the chapter, and I also hope this chapter will produce enough thought that you will just _have _to leave me a comment.

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Chapter 5

Janie's Got a Gun

Rory had come out of the bathroom eventually.

Eventually had turned into an hour after she had locked herself into the bathroom in the first place. Adam had almost gone crazy, banging on the door. He had only gotten her to come out of the bathroom by promising not to talk to her for as long as she wanted to. He agreed, and she came out. When she did, she went straight to the car. Which gave Adam the impression that they were going back on the road, and she was not taking no for an answer. He wasn't even in the position to say no.

Now they sat in the car, not even looking at each other.

Rory huffed and puffed, pouting. _How dare he? _She was not crazy, and she could be sure of that. Everything in her head made sense, and she, so far, had not done anything irrational. She leaned against the door, looking for quiet in all her thoughts.

But five minutes later, she noticed Adam was staring at her when he was supposed to be looking at the road. Then, she looked out the window. They weren't moving, the car was parked on the side of the road. Had she been so far gone that she didn't even notice this change? Rory squinted her eyes and sat up. He was still staring at her.

"What?" Rory asked, self-conscious. She had already broke the no-speaking rule.

He shook his head. "Nothing."

"Why did we stop?"

"Where are we going?"

Adam surprised her with this question. _Where were they going? _She didn't know, but the last thing on her list was discuss Jess. Rory bit her lip. "Anywhere. Just drive," She felt more annoyed by the second.

Adam rolled his eyes. "Gas doesn't re-fill itself. We have to pay _money _for this gas, and it's pointless to use money just so _you _can have your little pony ride."

Rory opened her mouth to argue, but there was no point. Adam was right. Now, what was she supposed to do? Go home? She knew their little scavenger hunt would end sometime, but she was definitely not ready to go home. No way. She pursed her lips together. "I already told you, I have no information on Jess."

"Alright, then we'll just sit here." He looked forward, showing no emotion as he stared out onto the road.

"_Alright _then," She said stubbornly, folding her arms over her chest.

They sat.

Cars drove by them, and a few of them even stopped asking if they needed help, but everyone was most surprised by the fact that they _chose_ to sit there in the sun. Personally, Rory was getting a headache. She was getting those a lot lately. This was not helping. Was talking about Jess her only option?

She put her hands on the steering wheel, reaching over. "_Fine. _If you don't want to drive and spend money….I will drive and _I _will spend _my _money on gas. Are you happy?"

Adam shot her a look. "Anything to avoid the subject?"

"Nope. Just feel like driving." Rory shrugged her shoulders and opened the door. "Come on, we're switching."

Rory was now in the driver's seat, and Adam was as mad as ever. But, he was also surprised when she made a sharp turn for one of the exits. He widened his eyes, "What are you doing?"

"We're making a stop," This was a statement, and he knew that there was no way to talk her out of whatever she was thinking.

Adam furrowed a brow, going with it. "Where?"

"The mall." She turned her head and looked at him with a smirk. "You wanted a destination? Well, here it is. I need at least _one_ change of clothes. Look at me, I'm in a hospital gown."

"I don't shop." Rory saw that with the look in his eyes, he was dead serious. "Besides, this is not what we're supposed to be doing, and you know it. I'm starting to think you have no interest in this," He continued.

The feeling inside her stomach was that she didn't. At all. Jess was the last thing on her mind, and she didn't even want to think about him. He had left her, and she was back at anger. Before had been confusion, sadness, hope, but now she was just mad. She made another sharp turn for a big building that said _Wal-Mart. _She parked in one of the tiny spaces.

She took in a deep breath, looking at the place. "We're here."

"Wal-mart? This is where you're going to get your clothes?"

Rory was tired of Adam's complaining. She got out of the car and slammed the door. "It's not going to be a fashion show, just some stuff to get me through the day. I feel sticky and gross, I need _something_."

Adam was now by her side. "You haven't taken a shower," He pointed out smugly.

She tried to get as far away as possible to get away from him when they entered the store. Rory definitely wanted him as far possible when she shopped for underwear. With that thought in her mind, she turned around. "Do we have any money?"

He reached into his pocket, "Some. Why?"

Rory blushed. She had _never _asked anyone she didn't know that well for money. Only her mother. This was embarrassing, especially after she had been so mean to him. "I need to _buy _things…I have no money…" She figured this wasn't the best way to ask for money, but it would have to do.

"I know that," Adam stated. He wasn't making her feel small…she liked that. "We have enough to get you a change of clothes."

_We._ She really did feel like they were in it together at that moment. Maybe she didn't mind _so _much that he tagged along. Rory nodded, and smiled in gratitude. "Okay, then." She turned and headed to the underwear section. There was a racks and racks of all different types. Rory could feel her face turning hot red. His presence was making her uncomfortable.

Adam seemed to notice where he was too. A couple of women were looking at him suspiciously. "Um--"

"Can I help you?" A perky redhead came over to them, interrupting.

Rory flashed a look at Adam, and then looked back at the underwear. "I think we have this under control."

She smiled. "I'm sure your boyfriend can help you out," She left.

_And did she just wink at them? _Adam chuckled. "Sure I can." He reached out to touch one of the panties.

Rory felt like a red tomato. She instantly just grabbed one of the plain, white bikini underwear. She just wanted to get out of there. She bit her lip, "Um, okay. We're done here." She did _not _want to go through the same thing with the bras. "Can you stand in line, so we can get through this faster?"

He noticed how uncomfortable she looked. "Yeah." Adam walked away, flashing her a look, as if to make sure she didn't run off.

After he had left her, she was in a rush to finish shopping. Wal-Mart was making her dizzy, everyone buzzing around. In all the time she was walking around, three people had already asked her if they could help her. She pondered this question as she grabbed a T-shirt. "No, nobody can fucking _help _me." She surprised herself when she said this out loud. Her anger was getting the best of her.

Rory wasn't one of those girls who cursed, or who ever did anything out of the womanly manner. She was the polite baby-face that always attracted guys. It was like all the guys were obsessed with her innocence. It made her sick, like she was some kind of _child. _Because how sick was it that _men _would be attracted to _children? _She thought about it, as she looked down at her hospital gown. But she wasn't a child, she was an adult. A woman. Although most of the time, she barely felt fifteen.

She grabbed a pair of jeans and held all of the change of clothes she had picked out close to her stomach. She was starting to feel self-conscious with this hospital gown, and bare-socked feet.

Rory ran to Adam. "Can we get out of here?" She whispered, as if she was being watched.

He nodded, looking concerned. Adam put the stuff on the counter and waited for the clerk to finish working with his credit card. The woman finally smiled and handed them a back, they both smiled gratefully and made a quick exit.

Just as they were about to get into the car, Rory felt a hand on her shoulder. "Excuse me." It was a cop.

Rory turned around, her face pale. "Yes?"

"Do you have permission to be out of the hospital?" The man adjusted his belt, looking at Adam suspiciously.

Did _everyone _think she was a nut case? "I don't know what you're talking about."

Adam wrapped his arm around her waist, and all Rory could do was stare at his hand resting carelessly on her hipbone. "Is there a problem?" Adam asked, as if he had more authority than this cop.

The Officer looked at Rory. "Are you holding this girl against her will?"

Rory's head snapped up. "I'm twenty-one." She was _not _a child. She turned to Adam, almost tearing up. This could not be happening. "Let's go."

Adam nodded in agreement and climbed into the car, Rory quickly following. The cop did not seem happy. "Hey, stop right there! I have a few things to ask you two."

But it was too late. Adam was already pulling out of the parking lot, and as Rory looked back, she could see the cop was writing something down and talking into a walkie-talkie. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. "Adam, he's going to come after us."

He didn't seem worried. "He's just a mall cop. He's there to see if anyone stole anything…he can't do any damage."

She looked out the window. "You don't know that." Rory closed her eyes, "This is so crazy." She sniffled. "It's already only been a day and it's already…_so crazy. _I didn't mean to take all those pills, you know? I fell down and the pain was unbearable. I needed the pills, I did. And they took me to the hospital, I saw Jess and--"

"You saw Jess?" She heard his voice full of alarm.

"_No,_" Rory shook her head, her throat full of tears once again. "_Look at me_, I'm crying again." She thought back to both times when she thought she saw Jess. "I shouldn't have called you…you're not supposed to be mixed up in this mess."

She felt his reassuring smile on her, as he placed his hand on her cheek. "Rory, you are not crazy, and you did not deserve to be in that hospital. Everyone makes mistakes." She really did want to believe him. "And that's why we need to find Jess, you know. He's what's going to stop all this madness."

Rory closed her eyes again. "_You don't know that_."

"I do. Just trust me on this one, okay?" Adam seemed more than confident. He could make things okay. "Look, we're going to stop at a gas station and you'll get to change…then you'll come back and we'll eat something and then you'll get to tell me anything you know that could lead us to him."

She just needed all of this to stop! "Okay."

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Rory ate the pancakes like they were the last food on the planet. While the strawberries just sat on the side, untouched. Adam simply watched in fascination.

"Don't you want to eat the strawberries too?" He already knew the answers to all these small questions, and she knew that too.

She simply gave him an impatient glare, looking around. Rory took a long sip of coffee. "What do you want to ask me?" She tapped her nails against the diner table. He needed to get it over with.

Adam bit his lip. "Is there anything you need to ask me, first?"

Rory considered this. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you care so much about a person you've never met? Why do you even care if I'm okay or if I die behind a bush?"

_I don't. _That's what Jess would have said.

"You're a human being, and you're messed up…I have the right to help you. Especially after you _asked _for help," Adam said this in a condescending voice. "Is that it?"

Jess would have asked her a personal question, not caring if she had her fair chance to ask. Rory crossed her legs under the table and mimicked Adam by biting her lip also. "Ask away."

"Who's Jess?"

_Were all the questions going to be so hard? _"I--" She was about to answer with a non-descriptive 'no one' but thought of just being honest for once. "I have a baby…a kid." He didn't seem surprised. "He was the father. My ex-boyfriend."

"Why did he leave?"

Rory was tired of this question. _How was she supposed to know? _"Some guys came to get him, and he just never came back." She almost expected for him to ask her to 'expand on that', but he seemed satisfied, with his little smirk. "What?" She asked out of annoyance.

"Like the mafia or something?" He laughed.

She shook her head, "No. Jess wasn't like that." _Dealings. _She remembered _dealings _from that conversation she had had with Luke.

Adam looked at her face, as if examining something. "You seem to take all of this kind of…lightly."

"I didn't love him." She didn't know where that came from, but it definitely just flew out of her mouth. Was she becoming a compulsive liar? Rory looked out the window, "I—I'm not taking _any _of this lightly."

"Rory," He leaned in. She leaned back. "Do you want to find him?"

If she said no, would he just drop her off in some ditch and forget her forever? "I don't know what I'm going to _say _to him."

Adam took this as a yes. "You must have an idea…where….where you can find him."

"Luke." _She wasn't supposed to be saying this. _She was supposed to be dark and mysterious, he was not supposed to read her mind. "Luke is his uncle, and he would probably know where he is…but, I can't call him."

"Why not?" He seemed even more interested in this.

"I ran, Adam. How would you feel?" She was sick of this. Rory stood up, almost deciding to run away from _him._ He grabbed her hand. "I didn't ask for any of this, okay? I didn't."

Adam ran a hand through his hair. "I'm just doing this for you."

"Maybe I don't need to do this."

"Do you really believe that?" He scoffed.

Rory looked down at his hand. Maybe, _just maybe_, if she found Jess he would take her away from all that was the world. _Come with me_, he would say. He would offer the beautiful things he once did. She didn't believe she could live without him. Not when so much had happened. It was the first time she had felt responsible for someone. He had given her a son, David.

She looked down. "I need a payphone." The words barely escaped her mouth, and she had immediately regretted them. _What would she say?_

Rory sat back down when she saw that Adam was holding a cell phone in his hand. She stared blankly at it. "You have a cell phone?" It felt like it was just a trace of civilization and it felt like it was out of place where they were. It felt like they were in the wild, or something. He nodded and smiled as she took it out of his hand. She continued to stare at it.

Adam raised a questioning expression. "You do know how to use a cell phone, right?"

She gave him a death glare. "No, I forgot," She said sarcastically. _Okay. _She could do this. Rory pressed down on the numbers with trembling hands, and nearly dropped it when she put it to her ear.

It rang, and rang.

Then:

"_I'm gonna pick it up! Luke, I am picking it up as we speak…"_

Her mother. Her mother and she sounded happy. Her spirits weakened.

"Luke's diner," Lorelai said.

Rory opened her mouth but found no words. What was she supposed to say to her mother? _Hey Mom, I'm in some strange city with a strange boy. Come pick me up and would you mind not putting me in a mental institution? _She drew in a breath.

"Hello?" Her mother asked unsurely.

Rory simply breathed into the phone. Her mother would know it was her.

"_Luke! Someone is on the phone and not saying anything."_

Her mother didn't even suspect. Was she really happy? Rory looked at Adam who was looking at her attentively. Then, Luke's gruff voice settled into the phone, "Luke's Diner." No response. "Hello?"

She panicked and gave the phone to Adam.

Adam widened his eyes as he pressed the phone to his ear. "Um, hello? Sorry if you couldn't hear me, I couldn't hear you either," He lied. "Is this Luke?"

Rory watched him listen to whatever Luke had responded.

Adam played with his fork. "Luke, I got this number from Rory…" She waited and waited for steam to come out of the phone or _something. _"…she's alright…" Adam seemed amused by all this talking he got to do. "But…there's something wrong. When she called me—to pick her up—she was never this way. She's holding a knife to her wrist."

Rory opened her eyes, wide. "_Adam, _what the _hell _are you doing?" She whispered. She never wanted Luke to think she was suicidal.

"I'm not anyone," He spoke into the phone slyly. "She's getting worse, and I can see that if I don't get her what she wants she might do _it._"

She shook her head, no. She reached over to Adam, trying to get the phone out of his hand. "_Adam_."

Adam continued, very at ease. "She wants Jess's phone number." He feigned fear, "_I'm so worried, _I don't know what to _do._ I don't know, she's just waiting for the moment to do it, and I don't want to give her the satisfaction."

He was stronger than her, there was no way she could compete with him. "Damn it, Adam, give me the phone." Now he grabbed both of her wrists and pulled her into his lap. He used one of his hands to put it on her mouth. She struggled against him.

"Hold on a _second_," He put the phone on the table. Then, she surely was trapped. He put his whole arm around her and was holding her against him, she was unable to move. He pressed his mouth to her ear, "Shh…" Did he think this was _soothing? _She bit his hand. "_Shit_, Rory. Damn it." He examined his hand.

"Let me go," She hissed, feeling herself get madder.

He only held her harder. Adam reached for the phone again and put it to his ear. "I—I just, it's getting worse. She's _crazy. _She'll do it, I'm telling you." Then, a smile appeared on her face. "_Yes. _I have a pen."

Then, in a split second, she had fallen on the floor because Adam had let her go. Her wrists were red from all the pressure he had been putting on them. She stood up, brushing herself off and looking at Adam, but he was without a phone. The phone was laying on the table once again.

She looked at him, feeling betrayed. "_How could you do that?_"

"I got it," He said simply, going back to his food.

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"Hurry up, will you?"

Adam was becoming another person. He was not the soft and caring person she had met at the apartment, that looked innocent and beautiful. He was another person, and she hated that person. Rory looked at him, giving him a look that said I-can-take-as-long-as-I-want-to. Adam rolled his eyes, making an incoherent noise of annoyance and walked to the counter of the drug store.

She marched away from him, getting fed up. Doing this, it resulted into her crashing into a man. Rory brushed the hair out of her face, looking up. "Oh, sorry," Her face was flushed.

When she saw the man, she was immediately saw kind eyes and a warm face. Just the kind of man that you would like to go visit on a Sunday night. He smiled at her, and she just walked away, until she felt him grab her elbow. She turned to him. "You don't remember me, do you?" The old man chuckled.

Rory felt embarrassed. "_Um, _not really."

He raised both of his gray eyebrows. "I met you at the hospital, I remember those blue eyes. You must get many men after you with those knock-outs."

"_Oh_," Her cheeks turned bright red. She didn't remember _many men._

"So, did you get far?" He looked at Adam behind her.

"Far where?"

He hit her arm lightly, as if they were old pals. "Well, you ran for it, didn't you? Everyone was on the verge of sending hunting dogs out to look for your scent." She now knew what he was talking about. This man was the man that gave her the pack of cigarettes. "I was rooting for ya."

"I thought you left after you gave me the…" Rory drifted off, only thinking of how disgusting smoking had been.

"The smokes?" He scrunched up his face with laughter. "_Nah. _I like a good show." Rory laughed at that, silently fingering the hem of her T-Shirt. "I'm Harry, if you didn't know." Harry held out his hand.

She shook it with a smile. One of the first smiles. "I'm Rory."

"Well, Rory, how about you help me read what this damned candy says?" Harry held out a _Snickers_ and placed it on her hand. "Does it have any peanut butter? I'm deathly allergic." He held his hand to his chest.

Rory looked at the chocolate bar and then shook her head. "I'd take the _Milky Way. _Way safer." She grabbed the _Milky Way _bar and gave it to him.

"Thank you," He said, as he examined the candy.

"You're welcome." Rory and Harry held a knowing look until Rory felt a hand on her shoulder. She was not surprised to see Adam walk out in front of her. "_Hi_," She muttered, more annoyed than ever.

Adam smiled tightly as he shook Harry's hand. "You know each other?" Nobody said anything. He turned to Rory. "Rory?"

She nodded.

"We should get going." Adam tightened his grip on Rory's shoulder.

Harry winked at Rory, "Well, see ya on the road, then? I'm sure we'll have a run in sometime in the future." Then he walked off to pay for the chocolate.

Adam only looked at Rory, as if he disapproved of her friendship. She smiled fakely and shrugged off his hand, making a sharp turn for the medicine isle. He followed her all the way to the stacks of aspirin. He slapped her hand when she reached for a _Tylenol. _"What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm trying to find a decent aspirin," She said, widening her eyes.

"I don't think so."

"What? You don't think I have a headache?" Rory asked skeptically, taking the aspirin bottle and marching to the counter. He followed once again, and watched her intently as she put the aspirin on the check-out counter. "What is it, you jerk?" She asked.

Adam pointed to the pills. "Do you think I'm stupid?"

She looked at the lady behind the counter. "I need these now, before he has some kind of break-down." She surprised herself with being so bold with Adam, after all he had done in the diner.

"Rory, don't do that," He groaned.

Rory sighed, "_Don't do what_?"

"You overdosed, remember? That's what they put you in the hospital for."

Was he now back to caring Adam? She couldn't keep track of his mood swings. There was no way she was going to let him console her back into tears. Rory looked determinedly at the girl. She was hesitating. "Um, I need these. I have a headache. Want to feel my forehead?" The girl looked at Adam.

He took them off the counter. "There."

Rory looked at Adam and then at the girl, as if they were in on something. She crossed her arms over her chest and started walking. "_Fine,_" She mumbled angrily as she walked out of the store and into the car. Adam couldn't control her life. It wasn't his' to control. He couldn't think that just by holding her in his arms once and giving his precious time up to find Jess would guarantee him a spot as her father. _Well, guess what? _She was two years older than him, and she should be calling the shots.

All of a sudden, she felt a tap at the window.

She turned, almost scared that it might be the old mall cop that they had encountered at _Wal-Mart. _It wasn't. It was Harry, looking as happy as ever. She rolled down the window cautiously.

"There ya go," He placed a bag in her hands. "'Couldn't help but overhear." Then he walked off.

Rory dropped the bag dumbly, almost afraid it was a bomb or something. She grabbed the bag and looked inside it. One bottle of Advil. The perfect size. She bit her lip as she touched the bottle. It burned in her hands. She remembered the last time this had happened. She touched the scar on her forehead. It wasn't _so _long ago. She had been alright.

She looked outside the car window and saw Adam exiting the store.

Rory opened the bottle and popped a pill in her mouth. Adam was nearing. She would just have to save the rest for later.


	6. Calm Before the Storm

A/N: I finally finished this chapter.

I really hope you guys like it.

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Chapter 6

Calm before the Storm

It had been three days since the call to Luke.

It had been three days since Harry had given Rory the pills.

It had been three days since Rory had gotten out of Adam's eyesight.

They stopped at the fourth motel, Rory finding something wrong with every single one. Sometimes she was being rational, like something deadly wrong with the places, but sometimes it was just a nick-pick. It was simply pissing Adam off. They pulled up at the fifth motel, and Rory simply looked at the car's clock before giving a tired sigh.

"We've been driving for forever."

Adam gave Rory a pointed glare. "Whose fault is that?"

She let her head hang back as she closed her eyes, sick of all this traveling. "Can we just, not fight for a second? I'm sick of fighting all day." She didn't hear Adam reply, only an angry slam of the door. Rory opened her eyes and stepped out of the car. "_Okay, then,_" She whispered.

Rory wrapped her arms around herself, following Adam into the motel. He had already gotten a key for a room, and Rory had a slight suspicion he hadn't paid for it. There _was _no one behind the counter. He put an arm around her, dragging her up some stairs. "A friend of mine works here," He explained half-heartedly.

She felt dizzy, the walls closing in on her. It had been almost twenty hours since she had slept. Adam had the brilliant idea of driving some more than usual. She didn't even get why they were doing this. If Adam had the stupid number, why didn't he use it? She had never even seen him turn on his phone. Rory suddenly felt herself in the room, and she smiled to herself, seeing it was bigger than usual. _And _it had two beds. She was happy she would finally get _some _privacy.

They didn't even say a word as Adam dropped onto the bed, and Rory made a sharp turn for the claustrophobic bathroom, washing up.

She stripped her clothes off and let herself look at herself in just a bra and underwear. Her bones were basically seeping through her skin, and her bra seemed torn in some places. She didn't bother clothing herself, sick of wearing dirty clothes to bed. She wanted to feel clean for once.

So, she simply walked out of the bathroom, crawling into bed, and covering herself with the covers. Adam was closing his eyes anyways. She sat up, taking a brush that someone had probably left there, and combing it through her hair as she examined Adam closely.

She nearly jumped when he opened his eyes and turned his head. She tried lamely to cover herself up.

"What are you doing?" Adam looked at her as if she was trying to seduce him or something.

"Never mind what I'm doing…you're supposed to go be asleep," Rory said defensively. She burrowed herself into the stale bed. "I can do what I want."

Adam closed his eyes. "Put some clothes on."

"I don't want to." She knew she was being unreasonable, and she should do what made him comfortable, but she honestly didn't care about him at that moment, she simply wanted a clean sleep. And to prove herself right. "What do you care? You sleep with your eyes closed, right?"

He suddenly opened his eyes and walked over to the bed, sitting near her. She scooted away from him. He put one of his rough hands on her bare shoulder. "I know where Jess is."

This surprised her. Her heart took a leap. And for the first time, it wasn't because of what he said; it was because of what he hadn't said. Rory gave an involuntary shiver. "Um…how?" She thought it was a rational thought.

He removed his hand and she was now staring at it, as it laid on the edge of the bed. "We only have a bit more to go to get where he is. So…please, don't make this hard for me. We just need to get there so I can get home." He seemed deeply sincere, like he just wanted to leave. She wanted to leave also. They could leave together.

She bit her lip. "Where are we?" It was the first time she had asked this question. In all the days they had traveled, she had never even uttered the words.

"Miami. I thought you were beginning to see that we were in the city."

The truth was, she hadn't noticed much of anything. Her Chilton education hadn't gotten her far, she saw. Or maybe she was far too gone somewhere else.

Rory smiled. "_Miami. _I always wanted to come here some time."

"Maybe you can ask Jess to take you somewhere here," Adam said casually, standing up and turning off the lights.

_Jess take her? _He was getting rid of her. That was what he was doing, and she really couldn't blame him. Who would like to hang around her while she was like this? Maybe Jess. She sunk deeper into the bed, and imagined what it would be like to wander the streets with Jess.

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Rory woke up to burning sunlight hitting her face. She put a hand to her face and turned. When she did, she saw there was a small note sitting on the pillow next to her.

She read.

_Hey,_

_I went to pick up some things nearby. Call downstairs and ask for Jane. She'll take you out for coffee or something. I'll be back soon._

_--Adam_

Jane.

She wondered if she was some kind of ex-girlfriend of his'. The feeling made her stomach tighten. She pushed the heaps of blankets away from her body and looked down at herself. She was still in her underwear. Now she felt much dirtier than she had before she had gone to sleep. The shades were pulled, and a lot of the city was in plain site. She felt in sight of a lot of people, although she was on one of the top floors and it was nearly impossible.

Rory put on her dirty jeans and her now clean T-Shirt that she had washed in a sink of the last gas station they had stopped at, because of a big grease stain. It had finally dried up. She had been wearing her hospital gown, bunched up over her jeans. She pulled it over her head and then looked at her messy hair in the mirror. It felt out of control, so she pulled out a srunchie from her pocket and pulled her hair up.

She was now at least decent to find this Jane girl.

Rory gave herself one last look before walking out of the room, slamming the door closed, and running down the stairs.

Once she did, she found herself with a crowd of people, standing around and drinking coffee. They all looked like respectable people, discussing business or something. She dodged them and all of their disapproving looks and went straight to the check-in.

Right there, there was a girl, with curly shoulder-length black hair, only about an inch shorter than her. Her eyes were brown, but there was something warm about her smile. She looked a bit older than her, maybe in her thirties. She couldn't possibly be an old girlfriend.

"You _are_ pretty," The woman widened her eyes.

Rory tilted her head to the side, as if to look at a person behind her. She smiled politely. "Excuse me?"

"You're…Rory. And he said you were young, I imagined pretty. A nice girl, too." She scrunched up her nose. "Give me your hand."

Rory felt incredibly confused at this point, but she held out her hand, and the woman took it and pressed her hand over it, examining it as if there was something wrong with it. Then she smiled widely. The woman withdrew her hand and admired Rory proudly. "I knew it."

"You knew--" Rory started.

"I'm Patricia," She held out her hand again. Rory had no choice but to shake it.

_Patricia? _That wasn't right. It was Jane she was looking for. She didn't want to be rude. Rory bit her upper lip, which was becoming a habit. "You already know my name," She whispered lamely.

"Adam told me." Patricia nodded. "So, did you have a good night's sleep?"

Rory assumed she was the boss or _something. _She nodded without any real feeling. "Um, yeah. It felt nice to lay my head down and feel something soft. Other motels weren't that…soft." She felt dumber by each second she spoke. "I'm looking for Jane," She had no choice but to blurt out.

Patricia nodded, "_Jane!" _She yelled out into the crowd of people.

Suddenly, a young girl, quite a copy of Patricia, came out of the crowd. She had freckles, and straight black hair, tied into a bun. She was pretty, with lighter eyes. She wore a simple spring dress and when she stepped up, she seemed to float. "I'm Jane," She held her hand. Everything, all of a sudden, seemed to sound extremely repetitive. Once she had shaken Rory's hand, she looked at Patricia. "She's pretty."

Patricia clapped her hands together. "We knew it."

Jane placed one of her skinny arms around Rory's shoulders. "Don't let that grumpy boy get you down. He'll get better, we promise."

"_Oh_, Jane!" A guy's voice came from behind Rory. There, stood a tall guy with blonde, shaggy hair, with a goofy smile. "Hi," He kissed Rory's cheek and then kissed Jane full on the mouth.

Patricia suddenly grabbed one of Rory's arms. "They can be very…like that—in public," She laughed into Rory's ear.

Jane had then taken a hold of Rory again, she felt like a non-responsive yo-yo. "We're going out to coffee." Rory nodded as Jane pulled her out of the motel. All she could do was wave at Patricia, when they had reached the outside. "My mom's a hippie, I'm sure you've noticed. Did she do the thing with the hands?"

Rory nodded. "That's alright." She hadn't had so much color in people since she had left Stars Hollow. So, Patricia was Jane's mom. "She doesn't look like your mom. She's really young."

"She had me at fifteen."

"You win, then." She felt herself get more comfortable around Jane now. At least they had one thing in common. "My mom had me while she was young too…sixteen."

Jane rolled her eyes, "Sucks, doesn't it?"

Rory had never really even had that point of view. Everyone had always said that having such a young mom should be great. She had felt like that, until Jane had sort of showed her there could be more of one opinion.

"I mean no disrespect, but I _don't _was to hang out with my mom all day. She can be really…_special_, sometimes," She laughed at her own joke.

The thought still hadn't processed the thought in her mind. Jane didn't _like _having a young mom? Rory raised a questioning eyebrow, "So, you don't like _it_?"

"Not always. I'd like to be on my own sometimes, you know. Go away somewhere for a while."

Was that what she was doing? She guessed it was. "I'm going somewhere." Rory bowed her head. "It doesn't feel as good as you would think. I don't really feel _independent_." She rolled her eyes at the thought. Adam was calling the shots.

Jane smiled at her sympathetically. "You can't let Adam drag you down."

"He's not. It's just a bit…hard on me. I mean, I've never been on my own until now. I live in this miniature town called Stars Hollow, and I've never gone far. It's amazing I'm in _Miami._" She still couldn't believe it. "It wasn't what I thought it would be."

Jane grabbed Rory's elbow and geared her across the street and into a cute little coffee shop.

When they entered the shop, there was a big sign, with a gigantic cup of coffee painted on, which said, in bright letters: _Coffee! _Her mother would die if she came here. There was coffee _everywhere. _Different types of coffee beans, the silky smell of the fresh batch of coffee criss-crossed with the outside musky smell. It was heaven for anyone who even remotely thought of coffee as a positive thing. Rory grinned brightly.

"Wow," Rory said, speechless.

"I know." Jane said this as if she was the owner and it was something _she _was proud of. "What do you want?" She asked, pointing up at the big chart with the variety of coffees all around.

Rory shook her head. "I could never make a decision. Get whatever you think."

Jane looked like it was Christmas as she asked for the two coffees. Rory sat down in one of the tables and waited for her. She came, with two large cups in her hands, steam blowing everywhere.

Rory took one and took a desperate sip. Alcohol shot everywhere in her body, waking her up suddenly. "_God,_" She took it away from her lips.

Jane smirked wickedly, "Irish coffee. Extra strong and just the way I like it."

"Strong," Rory repeated, nodding.

"Yup," She said peppily, as she took a gulp. When she put it down, Jane only had her eyes on Rory. "So, tell me about yourself."

Rory bit one of her nails, wondering if there was something to tell her. "Um, I think you know all the basics."

She nodded slowly. "How'd you end up with Adam?"

"He's the son of one of my friend's friend…"

"What a tangled web we weave," Jane laughed. "I thought Adam hadn't even talked to his mom in years. That's what he told me, that bastard."

Rory found that hard to believe. Jane wasn't an easy person to lie to. At least from what she had seen by now.

"Do you live in the motel?" Rory asked cautiously.

"Yeah. All my life. My mom's owned it forever. Before, I think, _her _mother, then her mother's mother…yeah, _that_ goes on forever." Jane looked at Rory's expression. "It's not as dreary as it sounds…or looks."

"The motel is one of the best I've seen."

Jane chuckled. "Thank you. I clean it myself."

Rory wondered if this was a joke. Was she supposed to laugh? Was she overanalyzing something way too much? She settled for a smile.

"So, do you miss your family now that you're with Adam?"

Rory looked up at Jane, surprised at the question. Nobody had asked her that question since Adam had picked her up at the hospital. _He _didn't even ask it. She remembered Lorelai and Luke. The almost conversation she had had with her mother. She sounded so happy. It had given her a sick feeling in her stomach when she heard it. And Luke just sounded plain worried.

And then the other subject she had been avoiding mentally for the longest time.

Robbie and David.

The one time Adam had given her the phone, she had felt the biggest urge to press her house number. Were they even there anymore? She wanted to call Robbie and tell him she still loved him. Because she did. She loved him more than ever. She wanted to call David and make sure he was okay. Make sure that he was getting along with Robbie alright. She wanted to let everyone know that she _wasn't _going crazy and that this was only temporary, and she would be home soon.

She would.

She promised it to herself along the way.

Rory bit her lip. She would never say all of this in front of a stranger. "I have a son, and I miss him a lot."

Jane looked at Rory, a pained look on her face. "You have a son?" She asked. Rory nodded, looking down into her Irish coffee. "You left him?"

"I couldn't take him. It would have been worse if I stayed." She had already convinced herself of it, so it was no problem telling Jane this. "It was all _horrible_."

"What's his name?"

Rory sighed, "David." Saying the name caused tears to swell up in her throat, making it painful to swallow.

Jane basically swallowed the whole coffee in one gulp, and then Rory felt a disapproving look on her. "You should never leave your child." It was all she said, before getting up, and paying for the Irish Coffees.

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"Hey there."

Rory looked up from her place on Adam's bed in the motel. It was already five o'clock and it was _now _that Adam was coming home. She wondered where he had been. She faked a smile, going back to concentrating at a little piece of light that reflected on her socks. "Hey."

Adam sat next to her, handing her a small box. "I bought you this, 'thought you might want to have something nicer."

Rory's curiosity got the best of her, and she tore open the box. It was clothes. Nice clothes. A beautiful blouse with a dark jean skirt. There were also cream leggings at the bottom of the box. She looked up, smile on her face. "_Adam._ It's nice. Thank you." She pressed the blouse against her body. No boy had ever bought her clothes.

Adam smiled, happy with himself. "I hope they fit. It was hard trying to find your size."

She blushed. He had gone through so much trouble. "What else did you get?" Rory asked, wanting to change the subject. "Anything for you?"

He shrugged, scrunching up his nose. "Boring stuff." Suddenly, his face brightened up. "Hey, you can wear that tonight. We're going out. What do you think?"

Rory nodded. "Sounds good." Although she was _not _in the mood to leave the bed. She was tired.

"Okay, well, be ready for around seven. I'm going to go across the street and get us something to eat."

She also didn't like the idea of him leaving her alone once again.

But it was also 6:43. She would have to hurry up if she was going to take a shower, get changed, and get herself remotely pretty. She felt like Cinderella going to the ball. Except her prince had just left, and she was by herself. No fairy godmother.

Someone knocked at the door.

She got up, and opened the door. "Jane?"

Maybe she spoke too soon.

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By the end of the painful 'make over', Rory actually looked at herself and didn't wince once. Make-up does miracles. Jane was long gone now, and she had barely said anything when she _was _there, which Rory found strange. Rory simply didn't wonder. She sat on her bed, and looked down at her lap, waiting for Adam to come through the door. But, instead of a loud creaking of a door, she heard a loud phone ringing.

Rory stared at it.

It rang.

She hadn't even seen it there before. Maybe she didn't even want to acknowledge it. It was too much of a temptation. She reached out and grabbed the phone, pressing the cool plastic against her ear.

"Hello."

It was Adam: "Rory. Um, I'm running a bit late, as you can see."

"It's alright," She whispered.

"Yeah, but, um, I might be a little while later. I had reservations for seven, and I'm not going to be able to make it on time. But I really wanted to make it...so, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind going ahead before me. Wait for me there."

Rory felt shocked. She had never even gone out alone since she had been out with Adam. She took in a deep breath. "I don't have a car."

"Patricia wouldn't mind giving you a ride, I bet. I just really want to make it to the restaurant, and you're the only solution I can find."

She nodded, "Then yeah. I'll do it. I'll wait for you there, okay?"

"Sure. Yeah. I'll be there as soon as possible." She heard noise in the streets. Adam shuffled around with something. "The place is called 'Porcao'. It's a Brazilian place. It's supposed to be one of the best."

Then he hung up; she was barely able to make out his last words because he was so out of breath. Rory hung up also, and stood up immediately. If she was supposed to get there, then she was going to do it right. She'd get there by herself, and feel really independent. Be really on her own for once. At least for a little while.

Rory slammed the door behind her and ran down the stairs. Patricia and Jane were there, at the bottom of the stairs, talking about something or other.

"Rory!" Patricia smiled widely. "Want to join us?"

Jane smirked, "She can't, Mom. She's going out with Adam."

Patricia's mouth made an 'O' shape and she mimicked Jane's smirk. "Is he waiting for you outside?" She pointed her chubby thumb in the direction of the door. Rory noticed the small diamond ring on her thumb. Was she married? Jane had never mentioned her father.

Rory saw that they looked happy, sitting there. Even Jane. She decided it was silly to bother them. She could easily get a taxi. "Oh, yeah. He's in a hurry...so I should probably be on my way." She stepped down the last step, and in between them, until she reached the lobby.

"Have fun, Honey," Patricia yelled after her, but she was already half way out the door.

The air outside was heavy on her body, and whenever she took a breath, she felt the humid air seep into her lungs. The temperature was warm, and even though it was a little bit on the dim side, she was happy to have a change of climate from all that cold. Rory smiled to herself, and walked out to the end of the motel's parking lot and stood there. She wondered if a lot of taxis went by that road. It didn't seem like much of anything went on there.

Then, it was like a sudden burst of light just spread out in front of her.

Right next to her, in front of the bus stop, came hurling a crazy bus, with about a million people pouring out of it. The driver looked drunk.

Rory had found her ticket out.

She walked quickly to the front of the bus, and walked up the dangerously steep stairs. Especially dangerous when she had Jane's heels on. She walked up to the red-faced driver and smiled at him.

"Excuse me, but I really need a...ride...and well, I don't have a car. I don't think many taxis come by here..." Rory stuttered. She wasn't very good at asking for favors.

Just then, a taxi zoomed by.

_Damn it_, she cursed to herself. "Would you mind?"

The driver scrunched up his face, like he was seeing two of Rory, not just one. "Jane Morrison!" He yelled, in a very pitchy tone. "Well, look at ya. You haven't been by to ask for a ride since...well, a long time."

"I'm not–"

He nodded, "I'll add it to your tab. So, get your butt in here!"

When Rory was walking away from him, he slapped her butt as if it was just a thing between friends. She looked back at him, and just when she did, the bus zipped into action suddenly, making her fall to her knees on the dirty bus floor.

And almost on top of a lady's shoes.

She stood up. "I'm sorry," Rory muttered, making her way to the back of the bus.

Everyone was looking at her now, and she really felt embarrassed. She was forced to take a seat next to a thoughtful teenager, scribbling in his small notebook. His hair was unruly, and he had a leather jacket. Everything this boy did, or how he looked, it simply reminded her of Jess. She just looked at him, as he looked out the window, searching for words. Rory bit her lip. "Hello."

He snapped his head towards her, raising an eyebrow. "What?"

"I was just..." She drifted off, his carelessness scaring her way too much now. She turned her head, "Never mind."

"Do I know you from somewhere?" He asked, touching her arm.

Rory turned back. "I don't think so."

The teen seemed to get a spark of inspiration, he scribbled something down.

"_Lost blue eyes searching for a horizon_," He read.

She peered over and looked at the notebook. It was exactly what was written on the small page. She was part of his poem. Rory felt very drawn to him. "I'm Rory," She smiled.

"Nathan." He didn't even look up.

Rory sighed, he didn't seem interested in her conversation. She thought of something. "My eyes are searching for the horizon?" She asked skeptically.

Nathan looked up, a few strands of brown curls in his eyes. "Are they?" He seemed to look at her eyes.

She blushed, "Your poem."

He looked at the poem, and then at her. He made her feel stupid, like it was beneath her to talk to him. "Oh," He realized. "Yeah." Nathan shrugged his shoulders and then went back to scribbling madly.

Rory looked out the window, giving up. She suddenly realized she had no idea where she was going. Sure, she knew the name, barely. And that it was a restaurant. But that was it. She looked at Nathan again, as if he had all the answers.

Nathan closed his notebook. "Are you lost?"

"Um, kind off…" She admitted.

"Where are you going?" He seemed to have the authority of a person who has lived in Miami all his life. As if he had seen everything and done everything.

Rory searched for the name of the restaurant in her head.

_Por…_

_Porc…_

She knew it was P-something. Then it hit her. _Porcao. _"Porcao," She said proudly. "It's a Brazi--"

"This is your stop," Nathan pointed to the door, as the bus screeched to a halt.

Rory looked out the window, there wasn't much there. Only little apartment buildings, and a few restaurants. It looked wonderful to walk in that little road. She smiled gratefully at him. "Thank you. I'm sure I'll find it from here." She stood up.

"_She found her way home_," She heard Nathan mutter behind her.

All she could do was smile to herself, and step off the bus.

When the bus left her, standing in the middle of the narrow sidewalk, she could not feel happier. She felt like a real woman, going on a night out, feeling free. She only had to walk a few feet, until she found a little road that led her to a small restaurant, on the side of said road.

The sign said 'Porcao', there was no doubt.

She walked in, and found a small reception area, just as the delicious smell of seasoned meat hit her. Rory smiled at the woman behind the small podium. "I have a reservation."

The lady smiled back and looked at her long list. "Name?"

"Um…Adam…" She could not remember Adam's last name. Had he even told her? It scared a bit.

She tried to think of Gill's last name.

"Edwards?" The lady asked, her manicured finger tapping on the already-scratched wood of the podium.

Rory nodded numbly. It had to be. "Yeah. Adam Edwards."

She smiled widely, and pointed to one of the tables. "That table right over there."

Rory turned around, and saw that about a thousand kids and adults currently occupied the table she was pointing to. This couldn't be the table. There had to be two Adams. She cursed to herself. She had chosen the wrong one.

All she could do was fake a smile. "Thank you very much." She made a turn for the bar, instead, and sat at one of the tall stools.

She would just have to wait for him there.

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It had been fifteen minutes, and Adam still had not arrived. Rory occupied herself by peeling peanuts, and laying them on the counter, almost making a little sea of shells. She had already had two waters, and olives. Olives because they were the only thing that they gave accompanied with the peanuts, and she never even liked peanuts.

In all those minutes, the restaurant had gotten a lot of live in it. It was crowded. They had even started dancing at one corner of the room, and they had turned up the background music a lot. It was even hurting her ears. She almost felt like it was a bar in some kind of pub. And the food was killing her. She couldn't even order, and everything looked too good.

As she stared hopelessly at her peanut shells, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She perked up, hoping it was Adam.

"Would you like to dance with me?" Some guy slurred behind her. She felt the pressure of something cold on her bare arm. It was his beer. She pulled away.

Rory scrunched up her nose. "No thanks."

The guy backed away, "Maybe later? Okay."

She slipped off the stool, and geared herself to the lady's room. Maybe she would find a sanctuary there. And somewhere to pee. Her bladder was exploding.

Rory went into one of the stalls, and listened to some girls chit-chatting.

When she came out, they were still there, but making their way out of the bathroom, talking about one of their boyfriends and the new dilemma of the week. Rory simply stared at herself in the mirror as she washed her hands. She felt way stickier than when she had gotten there, not as clean. She pulled her hair behind her ears and sighed.

All she could do was wait in the restaurant. Maybe even outside. That was an idea.

She ran out of the bathroom, and hurried to the door, happy with her plan. She would wait for Adam outside. Just as she was about to reach for the knob, someone started to come in the door. Someone indeed.

Jess walked right in.

She stopped. Her mind was playing tricks on her again. This was impossible. Rory frowned, waiting to see his reaction to her. Jess came to a stop as soon as he looked up to see Rory standing there. _Say something romantic and then disappear_, she almost begged. She blinked twice, and he never even moved.

Rory put her hand to the side of her head. "_Go away._" He needed to stop playing with her emotions. Or not him, but her head.

Jess furrowed his dark eyebrows, and the slight cut she had seen that time in the gas station had turned into a scar. He ran a hand through his hair, and reached into his pocket.

She knew then he was real.

She reached out and touched his arm. She felt the fabric between her fingers. This was not a hallucination.

Rory kissed him.


	7. Psychobabble

A/N: I finally got inspired for this story, and wrote it as quickly as possible. It took a while, though. I hope you guys don't find this chapter too…well, I don't even know what to call it.

But keep in mind that _definite _explanations come in the next chapter, so don't freak out please!

And it would help if you gave me your thoughts too. (Hope I'm not asking for too much) ;)

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Chapter 7

Psychobabble

Rory stole his cigarettes.

She had woken up in a completely strange bed, with a fairly strange boy, and she felt she needed to put the cherry on the pie. She had reached into Jess's pocket early that morning, and taken what she had first felt. What she thought she would find.

Instead of doing the predictable thing, and watching him sleep, she grabbed the cigarettes and went straight to the elevator.

Yes, _elevator._

Another twist to the plot was that where they had slept (and done other things) seemed to be a very high-class place. When she stepped into the lobby, everyone looked at her as if she was dirt under their shoes. She wondered when that happened. When did her, the-Chilton-private-school-Yale-bound girl had turned into the hospital-bound girl.

She reached the outside of the hotel and politely stepped beside the doorman and took the cigarettes out. She felt extremely grown-up, standing there.

Rory extended the cigarettes to the doorman. "Want one?"

"Do _you_?" He laughed.

Maybe she hadn't been as convincing as she intended. But she pretended to be very offended, and simply put a drag into her mouth.

"Need a light?"

She smirked as she heard Jess approach her.

When she looked, she saw he was already changed and he looked adorably scruffy in his jeans and wrinkled T-Shirt. "Thanks." She pretended like it was what she _did _now. After all, he didn't know her that well. He could believe her.

Suddenly, the cigarette came to life. It was lit. She closed her eyes, wishing for the best.

Rory slowly drew in a breath.

And choked.

Jess laughed, patting her on the back as she coughed and coughed. "I _knew _it."

"Shut up," She said hoarsely.

"Why would you steal these if you don't even smoke?" He asked, skeptical.

Rory smiled. "I've been meaning to start smoking."

"Too bad. You're not going to." He took the lit cigarette from her hand, and put it into his mouth. Jess leaned against the wall. "It's not good for you…" He smirked. "I thought you would know that, Ms. Yale University."

"Did you seem to forget that I didn't _go _to college?" She didn't mean it to come out so accusing.

Jess's eyes looked guilty. "Playing the blame game, now?"

"I'm not. I was just saying; I'm not that person anymore."

He raised his eyebrows, an amused look lingering in his eyes now. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were so different." Jess stood up straight, now. "I guess you're fit to smoke now, then."

She rolled her eyes.

"I'm serious. I'll show you." He took the cigarette from his mouth and extended it.

"I can't do it. I start coughing every time," Rory whined lightly. He shook his head, and gave her a look that said to trust him. She had never wanted to kiss him more. She nodded.

Jess chuckled as she put the cigarette in her mouth. "Okay, now slowly breathe in,be really careful so it doesn't go down the wrong hole, or something." She did as he said, and nothing happened. Well, the smoke was burning her insides, but that was it. "Now breathe out. _Slowly._" He had already cornered her, and he was getting closer as she blew the smoke out.

Rory coughed lightly. "That was fun."

He laughed as he put his lips to her's. She deepened the kiss instantly, her hands hanging at her sides. He put his hands on her cheeks, and Rory dropped the cigarette there and then.

She felt the kiss as intense as it had been the night before.

But even though every little part of her body tingled with great feelings when he kissed her, she pulled away.

Rory bowed her head, not sure what she was thinking. Honestly, her mind was elsewhere. Maybe still at the restaurant, waiting for Adam. It was ridiculous to be thinking about Adam, when she had finally found what she was looking for. She didn't have to run anymore. At least it felt like that.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," She said quietly. Then, she looked up. "_Nothing. _It's just—there's a lot of things we need to talk about."

"I guess so." His expression had turned serious now, as he put his arm around her.

And as they walked into the fancy elevator, she snuggled into him, making every minute count. Maybe it would make a difference when they had _the talk. _She would open up on everything that happened, and hopefully he would do the same. They would end up fighting. She was prepared for whatever his reaction was. But she was _not _going to let him get away.

They walked into the large room, and he immediately dropped onto the bed.

She felt suddenly sick.

"I need to tell you everything, don't I?" Jess asked, his tone not expecting an answer.

"I need to tell you everything, _don't I_?" She repeated the words he had just said, but it felt different. It felt as if _her _everything was much worse. But it wasn't. He had done the worse. It had always been that way.

But, truth was ruined at that moment by a knock on the door.

She bit her lip, happy for the interruption.

Rory walked to the door, reaching for the doorknob. And once she had opened the door, she felt her heart drop to the ground.

Adam was standing in the doorway.

"Adam. How did you--"

She didn't finish her sentence, because he had already pushed her out of the way. Rory turned her head and watched the scene in front of her unwrap.

Jess paled.

Adam reached into his pocket.

"What are you…"

She was cut off by the sound of a shot.

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"_Fuck."_

Rory ran to Jess. She immediately put her hands in his hair and kissed his forehead over and over again. She looked at Adam, breathing hard. "I don't fucking understand how you have the right to look like that right now!" She yelled at Adam.

He was at her side now too. "_Shit. Fuck. _Jesus," He muttered over and over again as he looked at Jess.

She tried to examine him as closely as possible. _When a person gets shot on the shoulder, they don't pass out. _Why were his eyes closed? Her heart wouldn't stop leaping out of her chest, tears were springing out of her eyes. "Why isn't he opening his eyes?"

Adam just clutched the gun.

"What are you _doing? _Put that the hell away."

The gun dropped to the ground, and Rory widened her eyes as he slid down the wall, and as he put his head into his hands.

Rory bit her lip so hard, she felt blood on her tongue.

"_What_?"

She heard Jess's voice, so she turned and saw that he had opened his eyes now. "_Thank god."_

Jess tried to sit up, but it was nearly impossible while he tried to hold onto his arm. "I'm okay."

"What the hell just _happened?_"

"I got shot," He said wearily.

Rory helped him sit up. "God, don't pass out, Jess. I'm right here! Just stay awake, and I'll get you some help."

Adam now looked up, his eyes wet from tears. He looked hysterical. "I didn't mean to shoot him."

"Tell that to the _gun _you were carrying around, jackass," Jess muttered, wincing.

"He's awake?" Adam looked hopeful.

She suddenly felt her mind getting away from her. She felt her head spin, and everything got blurry. She tried to shake it. "Adam, I'm not…" She felt herself watch her mind leave her. Everything went dark, fading so slowly it was painful.

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Rory heard faraway music.

Some kind of song?

_When you're alone and life is making you lonely, you can always go_

_Downtown_

_When you've got worries, all the noise and hurry seems to help, I know_

_Downtown_

_Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city, linger in the sidewalk where the…_

Then it zoomed away. 

"I think…I think she's awake…"

"She looks like a zombie."

Kid's voices?

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"Rory!"

She opened her eyes, despite her terrible headache. She was surrounded by people. Not that much, as she saw clearly. She saw Jess watching her, he seemed to be over her head. Then, as she turned her head, she saw two kids. A boy and a girl.

The boy seemed to be the one that had called her name.

"Maybe I shouldn't _do that_," She mumbled incoherently. Rory closed her eyes. "Just for a little while…"

"Rory!" Now it was Jess.

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"I know you can't hear me. The doctor…he said it. But I thought I might want to tell you that I want you to come back. Everything's alright now, I promise. Everyone here wants you to wake up. The doctor also said that you're not ready to wake up. But I love you so much, and you've been gone a long time. Physically and mentally. _Come back_, Hon."

It was Lorelai.


	8. Say It's Possible

A/N: I think this has been one of my favorite chapters to write. I guess after all of that angst, this was a good breather.

Review please!

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Chapter 8

Say it's Possible

As soon as Rory opened her eyes, she saw the exact person the voice had come from.

Lorelai was holding her hand, closing her eyes, as if saying a prayer. She had never known Lorelai to be a religious person. Rory stirred slightly, hoping her mother would notice. Lorelai opened her eyes, slowly, and when she saw her daughter, more tears filled her sad eyes.

"Rory?" She asked, hopeful.

"Mom," Rory smiled. With the haunted look on Lorelai's face, and the way that she wasn't responding, she became harsh. "I'm so sorry….Mom…"

"Why are you sorry?" Lorelai said this seriously.

She pretended to get distracted by her surroundings, and made a face of puzzlement, ignoring her question. "Where am I? What happened?"

"You don't remember…"

"'Last thing I remember is," She paused, a knot in her throat. "were…_flashes. _You know, I guess little things. I don't know."

"Jess got shot." Lorelai acted like this was old news, as she caressed her face. "Do you remember?"

Rory winced, "Is he alright?" She asked, not even answering her question.

Lorelai nodded, pressing her hand to her eyes, pulling away the happy tears. At least she _thought _that they were happy tears. "He's in physical therapy, for his arm, but he's alri--" She stopped abruptly.

"Mom?"

"Oh, Honey, I was _so _scared. You have no idea what you made me go through. I thought you weren't coming back after all that," Lorelai started crying hard. "You were _laying there_, like another part of this room. Like you weren't _even _a human being. It terrified me."

"I passed out, didn't I? When Adam…when Adam shot Jess?" Her mind was full of questions, she didn't know where to start. But mostly, she was so glad to see her mother.

Lorelai closed her eyes when she heard Adam's name. "Yeah. You hit your head hard, on the wall. Everyone thought it was a mild concussion, and you would be fine…but, you didn't wake up. In a coma, sort of."

Rory felt empty inside. Where had she been all that time? "A _coma_."

"Jess was so worried."

"So, he's alright?" Rory felt a relieved feeling when she saw her mother nodded. Then, a question spilled out of her mouth, without her being careful to stop it. "What about…Adam…?"

Lorelai laughed bitterly. "He took you and Jess to the hospital. He got questioned…it was awful."

She knew what this meant. _Jail. _"I know how this must sound…but, he didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve anything like that."

"Rory, _do you even know who you're talking about_?" Her mother was angry. "He, Adam, was one of the _bad guys. _He shot Jess in cold blood."

"His blood wasn't cold." Rory shook her head. "I _saw _the expression on his face. He looked so scared, and freaked out. He looked haunted, and like he recognized he had done something bad. He didn't know what he was doing!"

"Yeah, right. You didn't answer my question, Hon. Did you even know who that guy was? I—I mean, he was one of the peop--"

"I don't want to hear it," She interrupted, turning her head.

Lorelai put her hand on Rory's arm. "I'm sorry. We shouldn't be having this conversation right now." She reached out and held her close.

Rory felt like pulling away. Like it was a violation of her personal space. Lorelai felt her tense, and pulled away herself. "I missed you so much. You shouldn't have taken off like that, okay? When they brought you in here, I was so relieved to see you. But then I find out about the _coma. _It was a horrible feeling."

"I'm sorry for making you feel that way. I just needed to get away from all this."

"Let's not talk about this anymore, okay?" Lorelai stood up, regaining her composure. "I guess I have to call the doctor. You may not be completely okay yet."

"Thanks." She said this although she didn't feel grateful at all for waking up into all of this mess.

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A day and a few visits later, she found herself in therapy. Of all the places to send your daughter who had just woken up out of a _coma_, her mother had sent her to _therapy. _She had barely believed it when they had told her. _Oh yes, _it would be for her own good.

But, for all the times she had dreaded going to therapy, it hadn't been so bad.

Claire (the therapist) would ask her a question, and Rory would give her a vague answer. It seemed like she was used to people rolling their eyes, or being silent. It was way easier than she thought it would be. If she didn't feel like answering anything, Claire couldn't _make _her.

"Rory, we have talked about how you felt _after _you woke up…but we haven't brushed the subject of what happened before you came here, to this hospital." Claire's dyed blonde hair was covering her eyes, and she was looking down at the clipboard she was holding. Weren't therapists supposed to keep eye contact?

She didn't feel like lying. "They wanted me to go down the hall? Probably in some institution."

Claire looked up and shrugged. "Just, out of nowhere?"

"Of course not," Rory said, irritated. "I had a headache, and took some Advil. Apparently that's enough to land you in _therapy._"

"So, you overdosed?" She _tried _to act surprised, but failed miserably.

"Don't act like they didn't tell you about every aspect of my life before I came here. What do you guys want? Do you want me to confess my sins, or something?"

Claire seemed hurt by these words. "We're trying to help you, Rory. If you can understand that, maybe everything will be easier."

Rory felt angry tears down her cheek, letting herself know she was crying by feeling the salt on her tongue. It was the last thing she wanted. To make a spectacle in front of this woman. "I had a headache."

"Alright. So you found that the answer to all these problems was to run away?"

"I didn't _run away. _I'm an adult, for god's sake! I wanted to leave that place, and I had the right to." She scratched her knee nervously. "Look, I'm not crazy, I was going to come back."

Claire left the subject alone. "Who did you leave _with_?"

"I called Lane."

She wrote something down, although Rory couldn't read it from her spot on a strangely comfortable red chair. "Lane came to pick you up, and you guys left?"

Rory hesitated. "Lane wasn't there, so I settled for Adam. I had met him there a while before, and he seemed nice."

"A guy?" Claire seemed oddly interested in this. "Did you have any feelings for him?"

"No." She said automatically. "Of course not. He was just a friend." Rory gave a bitter laugh, just like her mother had given her. "He's in jail, _now._"

"As I'm told, he shot your boyfriend?"

Rory gave her a blank look. "Jess? He left me a long time ago. He wasn't my boyfriend."

"But he shot him?" She asked skeptically.

"Don't even ask me _why_," Rory said, trying not to remember much about that morning. "I don't know why. It makes no difference now, he just shot him." 

Claire seemed annoyed by this answer. Like she was watching a soap opera that didn't give her an answer in the season finale. "You felt betrayed by Adam?"

"I'm not sure how I feel about this, okay? I don't. And I'm not going to answer anything, or form an opinion, until I talk to Adam."

"Are you planning on doing that?" She seemed to disapprove.

Rory looked at her as if she was crazy, raising an eyebrow. "Of course I do. I plan to visit him and ask him."

Claire gave an exasperated sigh. "I don't think that's a great idea. I'm going to have to talk to Lorelai about this."

"Are you _kidding _me?"

"Rory, I…" She stopped, looking more annoyed than ever. Claire seemed to be looking at something behind her.

Rory turned her head. She smiled widely when she saw Jess was looking at her through the window. She stood up. As she opened the door, she heard Claire mutter: "I'm going to kill him." But she didn't care, because as soon as she saw him, she wrapped his arms around him, and hugged him tightly.

"Watch the arm," He whispered into her ear. But when she went to pull away, her grabbed her and pulled her into him even tighter. "_Jesus_, Rory, I thought I'd never see your eyes open again."

Rory felt tears slip through again, but she luckily rubbed them away, with her free hand before he could see them.

When they finally parted, she didn't know what to say. "How's the shoulder?" The first thing to come through her mind.

"It's gross."

His smirk, and their odd conversation lifted her out of the state she was in, and back to their high school days. The good parts, anyway.

"I wish I could have gone to visit you as soon as you had woken up, but they said they didn't want me talking to you until they evaluated you _without any outside effect_." He rolled his eyes.

"Everyone here, they're all idiots..."

As soon as she said that, she saw that Claire was standing in front of her.

"What is wrong with you, Jess?"

Jess looked amused. "How are you, Claire?" He looked back at Rory. "She's been making me lay on the couch too, these days."

Claire gave him a glare. "I told you that you could not speak to her yet."

"So, you wouldn't want me to…" He leaned in towards Rory's lips, but Claire pushed him back.

Claire looked like smoke was coming out of her ears. Personally, Rory was still dizzy from that almost-kiss. "You're just waiting for me to call Dr. Wrain."

"Dr. Wrain and me are old buds, I don't know what you're talking about, Claire," Jess gave her his classic smirk. "He'd just tell you to electrocute me or something. It's the only way in hell that you'd get me to sit still in a bed."

Rory had to hold back laughter.

"She's my patient!"

"Jess," Rory heard someone grumble behind them.

She turned around and saw that Luke was standing uncomfortably behind them, hands in his pockets. His cheeks turned bright red when Rory smiled. "Luke," She was actually glad to see this man. After all the times she had wished that she could get away from her family, it was still her family when she came back, and she was happy to see him.

"Hi, Rory." He pondered what he should say next. "Welcome back…"

Rory had to hold herself back from giving him a hug, just to please Claire. It also helped that she was holding on, tightly, to her shoulder. "Um, thanks…"

"I'm really getting tingles from this little reunion, but I have a therapy session to get to, and you're preoccupying my patient," Claire said through gritted teeth.

Luke nodded stiffly. "Yeah, _Jess, _maybe we should head back to your room."

_Room?_ He was staying there too? Rory's heart gave a leap. She noticed, suddenly, that Luke had a wheelchair in his hands, and what most surprised him was that he pushed Jess into it. He didn't seem pleased.

"I can walk," Jess grumbled.

Luke started pushing Jess down the hall. "You're not supposed to." Then, Jess turned his head and gave Rory a smirk.

Claire simply gave a sigh behind her, and pushed Rory into the room once again. "Let's get back to what _we were supposed to be doing._"

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That night, she was in her room like she was supposed to be. She was told by Claire that she was not supposed to go out of her room, and under _no circumstances _would she see Jess. But she knew she didn't have to venture into the halls to find Jess. He would find her. For once in their lives, _he _would find _her._

Just as the thought went through her mind, she saw a shadow outside of the window leading to the hallways.

It had to be Jess.

Just when she was about to open the door, she heard: "Um, she's awake? In here…" Robbie's voice drifted off. Rory panicked. She lunged across the room and entered the small closet where they kept fresh towels and sheets for that hospital room. She looked down at her feet in the darkness. She suddenly saw that she had very bright red nail polish on her toes. That was strange. Her mother probably did that one-day.

Her thoughts went back to the original problem when she heard Robbie enter the room. _What if he looked in there?_ Then, she heard another person enter the room.

"Oh, she's not here. Darn it, I thought I saw her come in here. Maybe she's in the cafeteria. It's dinner time." It was Rory's nurse.

"I'll go and check there, then."

They both left the room with a quick slam of the door. She let out a breath of relief and snuck out into her slightly lit room. Dropping onto the bed, her first thought was _David. _The person she had completely forgotten about when she was off. He had probably stayed with Lorelai.

Rory felt horrible for not speaking to Robbie. Even though she didn't have a clue what she was going to say to him, or how she was supposed to apologize for all of this.

_That night. _That night with Jess. She had cheated on Robbie. It was an annoying tendency that she had with Jess. She would cheat on anybody with Jess. The way he drew her to the dark side, and made her want to do things she wouldn't normally do. It was like he had some kind of strange appeal to him that nobody else had. That's why she loved him.

She bit her lip as she saw the door creak open. She would smile at Robbie, she would apologize to him and tell him what she had done.

As she was about to open her mouth, she saw it was Jess who had come through the door. As sneaky as ever. Her chest dropped in silent relief.

"Hey there," He greeted her, in his dangerous voice.

But this time, her eyes were drawn to his hair. It was dripping wet, and his T-Shirt was just slightly wet around the shoulders. Then, his left arm was in a sling, the arm that had been injured. He looked like he had just taken a shower. Rory smiled at him, the best she could, to keep her calm.

Jess locked the door behind him, and sat on an idle chair next to Rory's bed.

"The idiots won't even know I'm out of my room. They think I'm asleep." He rolled his eyes.

"They _are _very easily fooled," Rory agreed, remembering the close call a second ago. "What are you doing here?" She knew that it was a stupid question that probably didn't have an answer.

"I wanted to take a walk…if you wanted to come, I wouldn't stop you." He smirked, wide.

Rory let out a breath she had been holding, letting her shoulders drop. "Sounds good."

Then, in a whirlwind of sneaky actions, and about a million close calls, they made it outside of the hospital, where it was drizzling lightly all around them. He wrapped his arm around her, in an attempt to keep her moderately warm in the chilly weather. They could see each other's breaths.

He shivered, gearing her down the small sidewalk outside of the hospital. Rory had never noticed the path leading down to a small garden at the side of the hospital. It would have been beautiful, if the weather hadn't been so bad. She wondered why they had this place. Maybe the patients appreciated something pretty.

She sure did.

"Where are we going?" Rory asked, seeing that where he was taking her had been far past the garden.

"I wanted to show you something."

Seeing as this had been the most thrilling thing Rory had done all day, she was happy that he was taking action. Just when her feet started getting tired, she noticed that they were in the back of the hospital. Sitting in the middle of a very green pasture, there was a small greenhouse.

Rory widened her eyes. "Oh, my god."

"Yeah. I discovered this place a few days ago. I told you all about it…" He confessed sheepishly.

Her heart warmed as she thought of him talking to her while she was unconscious. It was too beautiful of a thought. The kind of thing that only happened in her head.

Jess made his way up some steps, and offered his hand to help her up the last, steeper stair. "This place is kind of cold, but it's worth it to see all of these flowers," He explained, giving her a tour around the greenhouse, subconsciously holding her hand.

"It's all so pretty." She pointed to a pair of pink flowers, that seemed like the most colorful ones in the whole house.

He smiled wide, as he got to the end of the flowers. On the floor, there was a maroon blanket.

Rory raised her eyebrows. "Are we supposed to lay here?"

"We could go for the less cliché angle, and just leave now, run around outside," He offered, chuckling. "Maybe get caught, give some sarcastic remarks. I promise either way it'll be fun."

She was the first one to sit down, pulling Jess next to her.

"Alright," He whispered.

Slowly, in a silent agreement, they both laid on the blanket, her resting her head on his chest. His sling was a bit of a bother, so he stripped it off, kissing her forehead in the process.

They laid there, cold and warm at the same time.

Rory eventually felt small tears go down her cheeks, and soon, she was crying against him, feeling the effect of all those weeks crash down on her now. She held on to him so tight, it would have been understandable if he had decided to leave at any moment. But all he did was watch the flowers as Rory cried, not letting her go.

They fell asleep in time.

And the next time Jess woke up was when someone carried Rory away from him.

He felt Claire wrap a blanket around him. "Stupid. You two are so stupid."

He just smiled at Rory, as she was led out of the greenhouse. Rory was too cold to smile back, but her eyes said everything.


	9. Fidelity

A/N: You guys get this nice and long chapter. I hope you like it, because it's really a big chapter. A kind of turning point. I'm very excited.

I really can't go more than a chapter without a bit of angst, huh? I'm ashamed of myself.

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Chapter 9

Fidelity

"It's me."

She heard these words the second she woke up. Unfortunately, these words didn't come from the person she wished. They came from the nurse, probably to take her temperature for the umpteenth time. Rory simply opened her eyes and gave the quickest glare she could.

"Back again?" She snapped.

The nurse rolled her eyes. "It's been about four hours since the last time I checked up on you."

This declaration made her head dizzy. She had slept for that long? It meant that she had slept _all day. _Of course, she woke up when the nurse woke her up, or when her fever kicked up a notch, and she felt the striking headache. She remembered there had been a time when the nurse had made her eat Jell-O, or something. Hospital Jell-O. It wasn't that memorable.

"You have a phone call."

She felt the nurse stick a phone at her face. _Jesus_, her mind chanted, as she picked up the phone. Whomever it was, she didn't want to talk to them. She sat up, straightening up.

"Hello."

Just then, the nurse made her way out and promptly slammed the door.

She jumped.

"Rory." It was her Mom. "How're you feeling?"

Rory felt a fake smile appear instantaneously on her face. She hated how these things were automatic, even if she wasn't talking to her mother in person. "_Great_," She replied sarcastically.

"Claire called me and told me all about your little adventure."

"Oh yeah?"

"You're sick because of last night, do you know that?" Lorelai's voice turned to the condescending mother mode. "Are you crazy, to just, _decide _to leave again? With _Jess?_"

She rolled her eyes. "I didn't leave. We went for a walk. (_sneeze) _I don't know why everyone's making such a big deal about this."

"Claire said she found you two laying there, like popsicles."

"I'm fine."

"You were on the verge of pneumonia. You're lucky they found you in time! You would have _died_," Lorelai ended her speech dramatically.

Rory shivered, thinking of the night before. About three nurses had to help her get into the bathtub, and she was shaking so hard, that they had to hold her down. Until the warm water started hitting her, she couldn't feel any of her fingers or toes. "It wasn't that cold," She contradicted her own thoughts.

"_Rory_," Lorelai scolded. "You would have been back home by now if you hadn't pulled that stunt. Claire says you're not balanced yet. She says that--"

"I get it! Claire says, you do."

She heard a long pause. "It isn't like that, and you know it. She stayed with you all night, and made sure you were all right. She says you were crying half of the time."

Rory's head pounded. "Yeah, well."

"_But_," She drew. "Your doctor, _and Claire_, think that maybe you should just stay there a week or so. You know, until they know what you should do."

"Am I not over eighteen?"

"You didn't act like it last night. And you're right, you are way too old to be doing this anymore."

Rory pondered this statement until her mother spoke again. "Jess is sick too, you know. He's a bit worse than you." This jolted her back to clarity.

"Is he alright?" If he wasn't, _was it her fault? _"I should go see him."

"He's fine." Her heart sped up. "_For now_," She emphasized. "And please, Rory, promise me you'll listen to the people around you for once."

She felt that stubborn feeling in her stomach. The one that was sometimes dangerous. "I will."

Claire walked in the door, and Rory was happy for a distraction. Claire was smiling widely, showing her she was happy that she was up and talking.

"Look, Mom, Claire just got here. I'll call you later."

"Be good."

Then the phone line dropped.

She sighed, gesturing to the seat next to her bed. Claire shook her head, "I have a proposition for you."

"Yeah?" She asked skeptically.

Claire pursed her lips, as if getting ready to recite the anthem. "You give me three minutes, to _talk to you_, and I'll let you go see Jess."

Rory crossed her arms over her chest. It sounded like the best she would get from this woman. She nodded stiffly. "I don't have to talk back, do I?" She half joked.

"We'll see." There was a sparkle in Claire's brown eyes that she hadn't noticed before. She was happy. Maybe some of that would rub off on Rory. "I talked to your Mom, as you probably heard…and we seem to agree on a few things."

"Nice. I suppose I have no input in these things?" She interrupted. Rory received an impatient look from Claire. "Sorry."

"You stay here for a little while. We get you a room. You see me once every other day, and start gaining privileges with time. I will help you, people will help you. I will allow you to see Jess, as long as he does no damage. Your mind will be clear and happy by the time you get out of here."

Rory weighed her options. Did she have any? She focused on the Jess factor. "What about Jess? Where will he stay?"

"I'm not sure where he will be. I don't know if he weighs in here."

She closed her eyes, feeling tears sting her insides. "Because he's _sane_, right?" She felt a hand on her own.

"He does crazy things, but for different reasons," She smiled encouragingly. "We're not sure yet."

Rory let a few tears slip by, not caring at that moment. "So, I guess that means you're sure about me?" She smiled bitterly. "And I'm betting that's not a good thing."

Claire shook her head. "I think it _will be _a good thing. Rory, you do have options. Although as I see it, this seems to be the best choice right now."

Then, as second after second passed by, Claire spoke up again. "I do have something else to talk about, with you." She cleared her throat, seeming to be nervous. "You have a kid. I met him. I've been thinking about it, and I think it will be extremely good for you to see him."

Rory missed David very much, and she would give anything in the world to hold the kid in her arms. _But. _But, she wasn't ready to face him. She had let him down immensely, and it hurt her to think about it. David and Jess was just way too much to cope with in the same thought.

"I agree," Rory said quietly.

Claire smiled. "I think you can go see Jess now. _If _you're ready."

She had never felt less ready in her life. Everything inside her felt weak and destroyed, like that patch of flowers outside of the hospital. The winter had taken all the life from them. Rory took in a breath. "I can go on my own," She muttered, sinking deeper and deeper into her mountains of blankets.

The last thing she did before going back to sleep was cough.

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It was about 3 A.M when she decided to venture into the lonely halls. They were extremely dark and scary to a person who had just woken up. She felt more energy powered, even though she still felt herself extremely cold and feverish. But, if Claire said she could see Jess, she would do just that. She wasn't going to take the opportunity for granted.

When she reached the room she had seen Jess go into the night before (or more like pushed into), she had to stop and take a deep breath before pushing the door open.

Like she expected, it was dark, and through the light of the hallway, she could see the basic outline of an average hospital room. The only thing that she couldn't see more or so clearly was the disheveled body lying in the hospital bed. She closed the door behind her, and let the light from the moon guide her to the standard chair next to the bed.

As soon as she sat, she let herself close her eyes, and just listened to Jess's breathing for a while.

Suddenly, she felt something on her knee. It was a hand.

"You probably shouldn't sneak into people's rooms like that. 'Could have given me a heart attack." Rory saw Jess's slightly weakened smirk as a random light reflected on the right side of his face.

Rory tried to keep her breathing even. "It's a good thing we're in a hospital, then." Her response came out as a hushed whisper.

"You shouldn't be here."

"Claire gave me permission."

Jess raised a shadowy eyebrow. "At 3 o'clock in the morning?" He asked skeptically. "I don't think that you making late night visits was her idea of a 'friendly visit'."

She blushed deeply. Good thing he couldn't see it in the darkness. "You're such a--"

"Gentleman, right?"

"Oh yeah." She acted fake annoyed, even though she was loving every minute of this conversation. "Jess, are you okay?" Rory asked, after hearing him cough a few times. "Mom said you weren't in the best shape…"

Jess shook his head. "Nah. I'm fine."

The way he shivered didn't seem fine to her. "Jess."

"Pneumonia," He finally answered.

Rory thought she felt like this moment was scarier than the moment she saw him get shot. She inhaled sharply. "Oh my god. Mine wasn't that serious. You're _not _alright. Is it really bad?"

"Just a bit of pain," Jess tried to smile, but it came contorted and twisted into a painful expression. "How about you? I heard you weren't so hot yourself."

"I'm so sorry, Jess. It's my fault."

He coughed once again, but this time it was mixed with laughter. He looked like he was having a spasm. "Yeah, right," His voice was hoarse. "I was the one that made you go out there. It's my fault your sick."

"Don't worry about me. It's you who's seriously ill."

"Oh, _please, _I'm fine. She said it would go away soon enough. I'm in a damn hospital, Rory," Jess said this, as he rubbed small circles on her kneecap.

This small gesture made her feel loads better.

"I want you to meet David," She suddenly blurted out.

He removed his hand. "Rory…"

Rory shook her head, feeling very embarrassed. "No, it came out wrong. I don't want you to meet David. You _have _to meet him. Look, I know I'm completely out of left field, but it's not wrong for me to want this. Because, this, me and you having some sort of relationship…" She paused. "_Friends."_

Jess winced.

"It's—I'm just not going to let you get away with it again. For whatever reason, Jess, _I found you. _And the fact that you are laying right here in front of me has to mean something. It has to mean that you _are _somehow involved in my life."

He sighed deeply, rubbing his temples. "I was running from some guys. I came to Stars Hollow because I was _running_, Rory. I wanted nothing to do with you."

Rory tried her hardest not to let these words sting as he said them.

"But, I found out you were pregnant. Everything got complicated once again. How could I not develop feelings for the mother of my baby? The one's that's effortlessly beautiful, and the one's that's just _so complicated," _He said these two things like they were both equally a compliment. "You had the baby. I thought how wonderful it was that I could both have a cover _and _have something so great."

"You didn't deserve it," She said harshly.

Jess gave her a sad expression. "I didn't. But it was the way it went, and then they came. That night--"

His voice drifted off and back to that night. It was too clear in her mind.

"_What? Jess! What?"_

_His brown eyes looked desperate. It made her scared to see him scared. He was so strong, to be hiding like a child. "Oh, Jess," She whispered. "Oh, Jess. Tell me. You can tell me. See, I love you!" She kissed his softly, before running her hands all over his face. "I love you," She said quietly._

"_Ernest," He smiled._

"_Hemmingway?" She asked blankly. This was no time to be chatting wittily. It was important. "Jess, if we're in danger—if __you're__ in danger, I need to know."_

_Jess took her face into his hands and kissed her once again. And again. And again. He kissed her all over her face and in the hollow of her neck. "Run. Rory, listen to me. Whatever happens—whatever they do…you run. Understand? Run."_

_She shook her head, "Nothing is going to happen, okay?"_

"_Yes." He closed his eyes and simply breathed in and out. "Take the baby, and go. Go into the bathroom and don't come out for a long, long time." He reached over and grabbed the phone before handing it to her. "Call if they try to get into the bathroom. If anything happens. You call."_

_She cried._

_Oh, she cried_

Then, it all zoomed back. It felt very similar, like she had done that before. She had, hadn't she? Was she really going crazy?

"I know what happened after that," She snapped. "_I didn't come to talk about this._"

Jess seemed to give some kind of defeated noise. He held his hands up in surrender. "What did you come to talk about?" He asked slowly. Honestly, he hadn't been expecting an answer.

Rory blinked away the tears. "I didn't come here to talk."

She leaned forward and caught him in a surprise kiss. A dry one. It was so dry that it made Rory want to kiss him again to make it better. But this time, Jess had pulled her on top of him, which resulted in her straddling him.

They kissed each other again and again until there was nothing left to improve.

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"Did you have sexual relations last night?"

Rory snapped her head towards Claire, surprised more than anything else. "_What?_"

Claire rolled her eyes, really not in the mood. "You.heard.me. Did you have sex with Jess last night? In his room." She waited for a response, but saw that Rory was still baffled by the question.

She opened her mouth to say something, but shut it again.

"Rory, let me ask you something. Are you engaged to be married?"

Something more surprising was that Rory found the second question just as hard as the first one. Well, maybe _not as hard. _This was probably harder. "I had sex with Jess last night," She blurted out.

"That wasn't my question."

"Yes it was," Rory argued pointlessly. "You asked me if I had sexual relations last night, I answered. I think that's enough for one day."

_Happy again_

_The lights are much brighter there_

_You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares_

_And go __Downtown_

_Downtown_

She heard the tune she had heard a long time ago in one of her…flashes? "Do you hear that?" She asked Claire, leaning in towards where the noise was coming from.

_Downtown_

_Downtown_

_Downtown_

Claire seemed interested in this, as she wrote something down. "What?" She leaned in. "What do you hear?"

Rory shook the feeling off like she would shake off some ants. "_Downtown. _When you're alone and life is making you lonely…don't you hear it?"

Claire stood up. "Your fever's going up."

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When Rory's fever went down, she had requested a phone. A phone to call the only person she wanted to see at that moment.

He accepted so quickly when she asked, there was barely any time for her to say anything else. Rory just thought of his voice. His voice that had soothed her many nights, and the voice that never put her on edge. The voice that fixed things with David. The voice that she had wanted to hear for the rest of her life. Was it past tense already?

She winced when she heard the door open and close quickly.

Robbie was standing near the door, as if scared to step any closer. Rory smiled at him. "Hey," his voice sounded forced.

"Yeah…" Rory's lips trembled, and soon her hands followed. "_God_," She merely whispered, before going into strangled sobs. She didn't invite him there to see her cry, or for him to feel bad for her. She tried to straighten herself out, but it didn't happen.

She felt Robbie's arms around her. Rory crawled into his lap after he sat on the bed.

"Rory," He choked out. "I—I, _jesus, _I was so…"

Rory stopped him from saying anything, shaking her head. "I know. I was so stupid. I'm not even sure what I want anymore. _It's so crazy_." Her desperate cries turned into hiccups faster than she expected, and once they stopped, she simply looked up at Robbie, having to look away because of the guilt in her stomach.

Robbie pressed a thumb against her flushed cheek. "I met the guy."

"What _guy_?" She asked, confused at his randomness.

"I met Adam. The guy you went off with. The guy that shot _Jess_."

Rory didn't even want to see his face as he said all this. She closed her eyes. "I didn't _go off _with him. There was nothing between me and him, okay?"

"Between you and _who?_" She heard the bitterness in his tone.

She bit her lip, feeling awful. "Robbie, I'm _so _sorry."

Robbie didn't stand up like she thought he would have. He simply sat there and looked betrayed. And so sad that she thought she would explode from the guilt surrounding her. "You slept with him?"

"Jess," the name had never sounded more disgusting in her mouth.

_Now _he stood up, looking more mad than sad. "You overdose, then you push me _away_, you go away, then come back, all happy and cured because all you had to do to get _sane _was sleep with Jess!" He yelled. "I guess I never had a chance, right, Rory?"

"Don't say that! I loved—love you," She stuttered pointlessly.

"_Loved? _You go off for two weeks, and your love goes away. Are we not more mature than that? Can _you _be mature enough to actually keep loving someone for more than a month?"

"_I love you_."

Robbie shook his head, his hands to his hair. "Is that what you were thinking when you crawled into bed with Jess?"

"Jess," she paused. "was just something I needed to do. Him, and me, are _over. _He was a loose end that I needed to straighten out. The only way I was going to get closure was to _talk _to him. I needed to know why he left…"

"It's not an excuse, Rory. You know it."

She did. She was aware of it more than ever in that second. "_Yes. _I know, Robbie. But, I called you. I called you, okay? It has to count for something. It has to tell you that I still have _some _feelings for you."

He seemed to be considering it.

"I _married you! _I didn't marry Jess, even when I had his baby in my body. I didn't. Because you're different. A whole lot different. I can depend on you, and I can be sure that you will always _be there._"

Robbie sat on the chair next to the bed. Everything he did made her dizzy. She hoped that the fever wasn't making a come-back. "Rory. You slept with Jess."

"You can't forgive me?" She pleaded with her eyes, with everything she could.

He stood up again. "I'm sorry," his face twisted in pain. "I can't."

The feeling near her heart was something she had never felt before. Something that was so different from what she was used to. Then, it occurred to her. Robbie had been her _husband. _Not some boyfriend that she could have replaced in a second. That she _did _replace in a second. She had just separated from her husband.

It felt worse than she would have ever imagined.

She had said _I Do. _They had kissed and promised each other many pretty things. It was her ideal relationship down the drain.

"I'm sorry," He repeated, sniffling a bit.

Just then, as her eyes traveled up and down his body, she noticed that he was wearing a shirt she had bought him one of those hot summer days. One of those hot summer days where they wouldn't leave the house, and where he would carry her into their room and finally use it for something. She had been out shopping with David at hand, and she had picked the shirt out as the first thing she did for her husband. It seemed, at the time, very symbolic.

When he saw no response, he dragged himself to the door. She irrationally stood up, running to him. She held on to his arm tightly, afraid of falling.

"Wait," Rory stated. "I want to ask you something." She realized it was ridiculous, what she was about to do, but it meant something to her.

He turned and sighed.

"Robbie, I want you to be David's father. Officially. Papers and everything. Because for the first year of his life, you were there, and Jess wasn't. He left. You came. It seems right to do this," She nodded encouragingly. Was she being crazy? "I know you just left me, and it won't change that, but I just need to do this. I know I can depend on you."

Robbie seemed shocked. His eyes roamed the room nervously. "Rory, are you even in the right state of mind to offer me this?"

This hurt her. She was officially sick of everyone treating her like a porcelain doll. "Take it or leave it. It wouldn't be _playing _Mommy and Daddy. You wouldn't be able to bail. I'm going to be his Mother, and you will be the Father."

"What will Jess think?" She knew he just asked her this to piss her off. But she wasn't going to let him get her down.

Rory shook her head, not approving. "Robbie. I know this is stupid, and you probably have no reason to accept this, but I want this. I want this for David. It has nothing to do with me _or _with Jess."

Robbie ran a shaking hand through his hand. "_God. _What am I supposed to say? I don't know."

She looked down at his shirt, letting the slight feeling of hope shiver down her insides. "Just think about it." She paused, chuckling a bit. "I'll be here, you can always reach m--"

"Okay," He said in a tired voice. Her feelings lifted up. Then, he looked at her sternly. "_I'll think about it._"

"Thank you."

Then he left. She was left to wonder how the hell this was going to work.


	10. Fall Away

A/N: It took me a _long _time to finish this.

I don't deserve your reviews, but they would still be nice. : )

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Chapter 10

Fall Away

The next morning, she found out that her and Claire's deal was being put in action. All of the clothes Lorelai had brought her was ready and packed, along with the other things that she had wanted along the way. But the thing was that she didn't see that anyone was consulting her to move things around or to take things out of her room. She just sat idly until Claire actually got there.

"Hey, Honey," she smiled. "Are we ready?"

Rory couldn't find an answer for this question. _Ready for what_? "For what?" She let her thoughts out quickly. It was something she got used to when she was around Claire. "People just keep coming in here and taking things out. I know our deal was a more, _permanent _room, but I didn't know it was going to be so soon."

"Soon is good. The sooner the better." Claire walked over to one of her suitcases and handed it to her. She reluctantly accepted it, following her out of the room. "You're gonna love this room I got you. One of the best."

"Down the hall?" She asked, seeing clearly that Claire was _not _heading down the hall. In fact, she was more like headed towards the big _Exit _sign.

Claire shook her head, letting out a sigh. She put down the bag, and went straight to biting her nails nervously. "It's this place, _Crowded House_. One of the top-notch institutions that I recommended to your mother and grandmother."

"_Grandmother_?" Now Emily was involved in all this? When was the last time she even saw her?

"She'll be waiting for you there, to help you settle in. She's very nice, Rory. You have a wonderful family."

Rory rolled her eyes, "Have you even met her? 'Cause I don't remember Emily Gilmore being in the realm of wonderful." She paused, gathering her thoughts. "And _Crowded House_? Come on. Isn't that a _band_?"

"My favorite band." She seemed to be smiling sympathetically. "But it's also a great place that I think you'll like a lot."

"Isn't this even my decision?"

"It is!" This seemed ridiculous to her. "This was our deal. A room. Like you said, a more permanent room. I'll still meet with you every other day. You wanted to see Jess! He'll see you every day, if that's what you want. You don't have to speak to anybody, just me. It's a great environment."

Rory bowed her head. Everything she noted seemed too reasonable. If she just had to speak to her, then why would they even want her there? She didn't want to be around crazy people all day. She didn't need it or want it. "It is our deal," this was the only thing she agreed with.

"Then…"

"But you also said that it would be for a little while, and I'd hate to catch you breaking your promise."

Claire's face broke out in relief. She picked up the bag again and put a soothing arm around Rory. "A few weeks."

_A few weeks._

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They drove for a few minutes before they reached the place….she decided it would be best to just call it 'place' for now, since it was too much for her to bare at that moment. She'd be staying at a place called _Crowded House._

She saw Claire pay the driver and then they were off into the wide and deeply empty parking lot. Rory only saw a few random cars at the edge of the parking lot where there were small signs with a happy family holding hands that said 'Visitor'. She only wished she didn't have to hold hands with her grandmother.

"It's great here," Claire stated, zipping her back to reality.

Rory widened her eyes sarcastically. "Oh yeah. It would really be impressive of how _happy _this place seems, if it wasn't so creepy." Claire, being the nice person she was, didn't call her on the comment and only smiled fakely at the woman in the white gown that came up to them.

"You must be Rory." She flipped her perfectly groomed blonde hair and smiled with her nice plump lips.

Rory ran a hand through her knotty hair, feeling like a mess. "Um, yeah?"

Claire took Rory's arm into her clutch and gave her a small push towards the Barbie Girl. "She'll walk you in. You only have a few things to sign." Barbie Girl now grabbed the same spot where Claire's hand had been and started to pull her away from their place in the Visitor's parking spaces.

Rory turned her head to see Claire starting to back away slowly. "Bye! I'll see you tomorrow!" She turned her head back and simply placed all her attention into walking through the sliding doors.

"Things I have to sign?" She asked, trying not to notice the jumpy walk Barbie Girl did. She had to fight the urge to giggle.

Barbie Girl stopped at a desk where there were neatly piled papers in front of Rory. She looked down at them and raised an eyebrow. "What are these?" The girl was so automatic and so perfect that she thought she would just talk with a robotic voice and maybe not even blink twice.

"Oh, I don't do that," Barbie girl rolled her eyes and turned to walk away.

Rory turned now to the slightly older woman behind the counter of the desk. She had brown curly hair and was wearing a long hippie looking skirt and a wool sweater. She smiled. "Do you do _that_?"

The girl made a very amused expression. "Oh, that's Rachel. She's not nice, a very unfortunate incident when she was having plastic surgery, they placed a stick up her butt."

Rory laughed once she had realized the joke.

"I'm Tori."

"Rory." She looked down at the papers once again. "These papers…what are they for?"

Tori let out a breath and took a bite of a muffin she had been hiding underneath the desk. "You're putting yourself in our care. Blah, blah, blah. Just a bunch of crap." She stood up. "Sign here."

She signed there and waited for Tori to escort her to her room. She decided it was better than waiting for Barbie Girl to come back just so she could feel even more miserable about herself.

The 'institute' was exactly what she expected. White everywhere, much like a hospital, except there weren't many people out in the halls, and it was much quieter. Once in a while, she would hear a scream come from upstairs. It kind of scared her what of what these people might do to make someone scream like that. She simply wrapped her arms around herself and kept to herself, observing quietly as they made their way through the wide halls.

Tori punched the number for the elevator, and it came soon, filled with two bulky men in white coats, holding on to a red-faced girl who seemed to be muttering something.

"Hey Linn." Tori smiled at the girl.

She sniffled. "They took my puppy away."

Then the men led Linn out of the elevator and into the same place where they had been standing. Before she could see where they were taking her, the elevator doors closed.

The time in the elevator was like torturous hours rolling by, as slowly as possible, although when she had stepped out, she realized it had only been a few minutes. The silence was too much to bare.

The floor where they had arrived was much like the rest of the hospital, lonely looking. The room doors were all closed, and the only place where she saw people was through a window leading to some other room, where an old woman was leading some kind of group with a bunch of teenagers. They all wore white robes. She hoped she never had to put one on.

"This is your room."

She clumsily stopped in front of the door that Tori was pointing to. Rory smiled at her. "Thanks for taking me. I'll be okay the rest of the way." The truth was, she didn't want Tori having to deal with her grandmother.

Tori winked at her, backing away. "Be good."

After taking in a deep breath, she turned the knob and entered the room.

The very first thing she saw was, yes, her grandmother sitting on her bed, next to a couple of suitcases that were laying on the floor. She didn't pay much attention to her surroundings, seeing as it looked very much like her own hospital room, except a bit bigger. The only difference she saw was her own blankets and pillows on the bed. It was the only color in the room.

"Rory!" Emily exclaimed, jumping up with a big smile. "I've been waiting for you for _hours. _The people here are so irresponsible. They probably didn't even take the time to bring you here…'just had you wander around until you got it, huh?"

"Oh, no, someone brought me in, Grandma," Rory reassured her.

"Then why did you take so long?" She dropped the accusing line with an accusing raise of her eyebrows. "You didn't give them any trouble, did you?"

Rory scratched her arm nervously. "No…I don't think so."

Emily wrapped her arms around her granddaughter, pulling away quickly. "Well, I'm certainly glad to see you after what happened. Terrible thing that happened, that man kidnapping you like he did."

"Well, he didn't," She stuttered. "Adam…well, I called him. He never did anything wrong."

Emily scoffed, "I know you've been through a rough time, Rory, but there's no need to protect this man. He's in jail now, there's no way he can get to you now."

"But--"

"It wasn't your fault that you were going through a rough time. It's normal. But that man, taking you like he did. God, I can't even think about it." She shivered purposely, to show how repulsed she was. "_And then_, he has the brilliant idea to hurt Jess. That poor boy."

Rory widened her eyes. _Poor boy? _Since when had her grandmother ever even liked Jess? Hadn't he been a hoodlum the last time she asked? "Um, I guess."

"You must be _exhausted,_" Emily put her hands on Rory's shoulders and weighed her down to the bed. "Promise me you'll sleep just a bit before you go venturing out into the halls."

She nodded obediently. "I'll sleep."

Emily matched her nod and made her way to the door. "Never mind the bags, I'll send someone in to help you with that. Just sleep and keep your mind off your worries."

"I'll try."

"And don't worry," she gave Rory a significant look. "You'll be safe here."

-

-

-

-

"Did Claire make you call me?"

"Of course not."

"Right." She didn't believe him. Of course she didn't believe him. How was she supposed to believe him when he hadn't said a word to her since they had had sex?

"Rory," his voice was tired. "Claire did not make me call you. I wanted to call you."

"Why would you want anything to do with me? After I attacked you that night?"

"Oh, yeah," his voice dripped with sarcasm. "It was a brutal attack. I'm gonna need therapy."

"I hate this place."

"Subtle," he said quietly, not sounding like he cared either way.

"I don't even want to emerge from my room because I'm scared someone's going to make me do hallway therapy," she laughed.

"Hallway therapy?"

"They take you aside and then start asking you really uncomfortable questions. It turns into a therapy session…in the hallway. It sounds lame now that I said it aloud."

"Rory," his tone sounded condescending.

"Jess?" she asked, even playfully.

"Are we even going to talk about the sex?"

"No," Rory said, her voice shrinking. "I wasn't planning on it."

"I--"

"Wait a second." She heard beeping. That meant another line. "I'll be right back."

"Okay," his voice sounded drained.

What was it with her obsessing about his voice? Maybe that was because it was the part of him she had access to.

"Okay," she said lamely. "Hello."

"Hello?"

Her heart skipped a beat. "Is…oh, my god."

"I'm only allowed one phone call," said Adam.

Rory could only think about the last time she had seen him. It made her squirm and obsess even more about the fact that she had both the shooter and the shootee on her phone. Her blood pumped through her body and she could feel it.

"That was supposed to be my big opening line, Rory," he urged her to talk.

How could she not talk? She didn't think she'd ever hear his voice. "Why'd you wait so long?"

"I don't know."

"Adam," that was all she said.

"I want to see you, Rory. You're the only one…you were _there._"

God, he was so broken. _So _broken. She sighed heavily. "I'm in this _place_."

"Place?" he was alarmed, suddenly.

"Institute," she said. "I can't get out. And neither can you. And I've got Jess on the other line. And you—you shot him."

"I'm so scared, Rory," he whispered, and it came out blurred and wet which she knew was from tears. Or maybe…or maybe that was just her blubbering.

"Me—_hiccup_—me too," her tears didn't let her talk. She was suddenly sobbing.

Then, there was a knocking.

"Darling?" A nurse yanked open the door and left it open. Rory hid her face. "The door stays open, okay?" Then there were footsteps down the hall.

Rory turned her head. The nurse was gone and her door was open.

"Rory?"

"They make me keep my door open," she said.

"It's not very private over here either."

"Adam. Oh, Adam," she cried. "You screwed up so bad. You shot Jess and now you're there. We all messed up so bad. I feel so horribly about everything. I lost everyone."

"It's all my fault," this was a fact for Adam, though not for Rory.

"I want to see you, Adam."

"You want to see me?" his voice was filled with awe. "_I _want to see _you_. You don't want to see me. I'm not anything worth seeing."

Rory ignored him. "I want to see you. That can happen, right?"

"It can—it can happen."

"Not that you asked," she said rashly. "But Jess is okay. And I'm okay. I know you wanted to ask."

Now, _he _ignored _her_. "Come soon, okay? I don't know how long I can take it without you."

"I will."


End file.
